“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, the other is getting it,” said Oscar Wilde. Passion is a tricky, elusive thing. Once captured, it flounders.
What if studying tantra could heal our addiction to Porn? What if tapping into our natural abilities to experience ecstasy changes everything? I was really nervous when I first realized that I wanted to teach Tantra.
MONASH U. (AUS) — The production of sperm is more biologically taxing than previously thought, a new study with crickets proves. In research published in the journal PLoS ONE, Damian Dowling of Monash University and Leigh Simmons, a professor at the University of Western Australia, have investigated the trade-off between sperm quality and immunity.
How will you fill your pair-bonder “hole?”
In recent years, scientists have been studying a fascinating mammal in greater depth: the prairie vole. There are many closely related vole species, but some species mate for life while others don't form pair bonds at all (like most mammals).
The prairie vole belongs to that curious 3 percent of "socially monogamous" mammal species, which includes humans. They pair up, usually for their short lives, sometimes with a bit of extra-pair coupling on the side ("cheating"). Again, like humans.
New York Times, January 11, 2015 - More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Last summer, I applied his technique in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man’s eyes for exactly four minutes.
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. This book made a big impression on me and I am very grateful to its authors. Chia, a neo-Taoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.
However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Taoist lovemaking in the work ascribed to the famous Taoist sage, Laozi (or "Lao Tzu"), I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings.
Discover the Magic of Bonding Behaviors
While waiting for a concert to begin at our local county fair, my husband and I checked out a reptile exhibit that included an animal trainer with a live alligator resting calmly on his lap. As we stroked the gator, I asked the trainer why it was so tame. “I pet it daily. If I didn’t, it would quickly be wild again, and wouldn’t allow this,” he explained. I was surprised. Only months earlier I had begun to grasp the power of bonding behaviors (skin-to-skin contact, gentle stroking and so forth) to evoke the desire to bond without our having to do anything more.
Curious about why a pope condemned karezza, I recently waded through the late Archbishop Exner's The Amplexus Reservatus (The Reserved Embrace). It traced some eye-opening Catholic doctrine about the purpose of marriage, much of which dates back to Church father Augustine of Hippo (b. 354 CE). He's well known for his prayer, "Grant me chastity and continence...but not yet!"
Human behavior varies a lot. As compared with other primates, we're heavily influenced by culture, religion, family upbringing, and so forth. As a consequence, it's logical to conclude that our fitful monogamy is purely culturally induced and not instinctual. (On the other hand, we readily seem to accept that promiscuous tendencies are wired into our brains.) In fact, we are programmed to pair bond—just as we're programmed to add notches to our belts.