Today's media equates "sex positive" with zeal for orgasm. According to this formula, the more orgasms we demand, deliver or procure, the more "sex positive" we are. This makes Internet porn and sex toys, with their ability to override our normal sexual appetites so we can orgasm when we otherwise could not due to satiation, the most "sex-positive" inventions in all of human history. Or does it?
This definition of "sex positive" rests on a misunderstanding of how intense stimulation can potentially numb the pleasure response of the human brain. It also discounts the gifts of flirty exchanges, and human touch exchanged with a trusted mate. Given that affectionate touch and enduring relationships are generally positively associated with increased wellbeing, these omissions are especially unfortunate.
For reasons that lie at the heart of evolution, our brains are extremely responsive to today's super enticing versions of food and sex, such as junk food and Internet erotica. Alas, more is not better for some brains; it desensitizes them. This is why many of us are obese and/or furiously fertilizing our screens—yet feel more dissatisfied than ever. Recovering porn users describe their experiences with desensitization: