A blogger tipped us off to a fascinating video about two couples who had virtually stopped having sex, and what they did about it. Without intending to be, it's a telling look at what passion can do...and what bonding behaviors can do.

Note: This video has six short parts. You have to return to the link below to choose each part (beneath the image).

Here's an intriguing piece by some Oxford academics, Julian Savulescu and Anders Sandberg. Although we think trying to use pills to keep couples together would be extremely unwise, we understand that there don't seem to be many options once one really sees the human dilemma clearly...especially if one is convinced that 'sexual satiation equals wellbeing.' We can't help wondering if these authors would trumpet the ethics of changing behavior to increase the chances of remaining in love with as much gusto as they recommend popping theoretical mating pills with risky outcomes.

Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (with Michael Winn) was my first introduction to the wisdom of making love without striving for orgasm. This book made a big impression on me and I am very grateful to its authors. Chia, a neo-Taoist master, teaches men another way to manage their sexual energy, as well as the weakness in humanity's current habits. His book greatly expanded my understanding of my role as a lover, helping me to become a safer lover.

However, even before I stumbled upon the ancient account of Taoist lovemaking in the work of the famous Taoist sage, Lao Tzu, I realized that there was an inherent inconsistency in Chia’s teachings.

Learn about an inspiring new model for sexuality, created by Chilean Psychologist Franscisco Moreno. Here are his remarks describing it.

Transorgasmic sex is based in thermodynamics, and heavily influenced by the work of C. G. Jung. I use the term "irreversible expansion" (for example, an atomic explosion) for the orgasmic experience, and "reversible expansion" (for example, a nuclear reactor) for the transorgasmic experience.

Transorgasmic consciousness has existed in all cultures. It does not belong to sexuality only. Even in sports and other physical or aesthetic disciplines we find experiences similar to transorgasmic.

A male friend, pictured here, said my book needed to address this question, so here's an excerpt from the new book that does so. Feel free to add your comments to the end of the article.

One reason people often believe that orgasm is purely a beneficial outlet is that it seems to solve the problem of too much sexual energy—or perhaps too much semen if you’re male. This impression seems irrefutable, in part because wet dreams are a natural phenomenon of adolescence. It’s logical to assume that the body is making extra semen that has nowhere else to go.

Excerpt from Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships, due out June, 2009. (Pre-order from Random House)

Have you ever fallen in love with total abandon, experienced wonderful lovemaking, been sure you wanted to stay together forever—and then noticed recurring emotional friction arising between you and your beloved? If you’re married do you have a sense that the honeymoon is over? Perhaps one of you sometimes becomes clingy and demanding while the other feels devoured and “needs space.” Maybe you experience subtle, periodic irritation, or a sense of stagnation that is gradually extinguishing your former delight in each other. Perhaps you engage in spectacular fights interspersed with passionate reconciliation.

Gary and I were interested to discover that there is a very active forum on a popular science site in the UK called "Naked Scientists" about Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome, known as "POIS." These men (and a few women) suffer debilitating symptoms after orgasm, such as exhaustion, insomnia, flu-like symptoms, brain fog, anxiety, depression, weakness, indigestion and so forth. It tends to last for a few days until around two weeks.

Last year a sexologist did research on women engaging in various kinds of sexual activity for 30 days - and tested them to see how attractive and friendly they found (unknown) men's pictures. He was trying to prove that women engaging in PVI (penile-vaginal intercourse) would find pictures of strange men less attractive than the other women did, because they would be more bonded with their mates.