What a rich and courageous path you've taken Marnia and Douglas. You've brought me here with virtually everything you talk about in your book and interviews. The teachers show up when the student is ready.
For most of my 30+ year marriage I've felt like I haven't gotten as much sex as I wanted. Now, I want to solve this problem. I welcome anyone who has a similar situation to join this discussion, and would especially like to hear from people who have solved the problem in their own marriages.
I don't know how or why this book got onto my reading list (movie "The Secret"?) but it came to me at the right time. By day 66 (today is 70) I was wondering, "What's next?". I missed the excitement of wanting my Izzy and was wondering how to get that back and stay on track. I read "Chicken Soup for the Soul" a long time ago and it was OK but when I saw "Chicken Soup for Cat Lover's Soul" advertised, I figured that's enough chicken soup!
It’s been a while since most of the (us) porn guys splintered into the multitude of sites on that topic. While I’ve visited some of those sites, I’ve not blogged/journalled/etc. on them. I tend to be private, probably to my detriment. I'm not sure why I blogged as I have here. Perhaps I somehow seperated myself from the content.
After about 3 years of being cognizant of these ideas, I finally got the courage to ask my partner to try the Exchanges with me. He agreed (though in large part to support me, and "try something different") and it was a lovely three weeks. I felt more "on", more energized, way more stable emotionally, and present. I was able to laugh things off easily, and laugh more loudly than I have in a long time.
39 days of not asking. Let's remember this path is not what Marnia recommends.
What has been lost? What has been gained?
I used to feel that I had a large (soccer ball sized) hole in my chest. I was desperate to fill it. I found a few ways to do it but it was an emotional roller coaster. For a few weeks now, it is more like a dent. Same size, same place. Ya know that car you wrecked and pocketed the insurance money instead of having it fixed? I can drive it but with this dull ache it ain't all that pretty.
I'm currently at three works without P and M and things are going pretty well. The temptation hasn't been as strong of late, and things like distracting myself with writing, playing video games, and more time spent with my wife are helping a lot. I plan on rewarding myself at 30 days by buying myself a little something I usually wouldn't spend money on, and then will be shooting for 60 days!