First Karezza sex with ex girlfriend

Submitted by intriqued on
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She's just left. I'm a bit blown away by what just happened.

6 weeks without seeing each other. She had read Cupid at my request. Lots of discussion. Clothes on for 1 -2 hours, kissing touching, talking. Then me no clothes and her just panties. I liked the conscious 'now no clothes' decision rather than stripping each other in lustful passion. Another hour or so with us fighting hard to resist lustful touch and escalation. I was the one pulling her back but then I kept on escalating which was sending mixed signals. I knew what I was trying to do but was failing to fight my urge. Occasionally we would step back and talk a little. I went down on her but she told me to stop just as she was about to orgasm. I was amazed she was actually giving this a go.

But she was doing the same and trying to wind me up. I wasn't hard until she took control. I failed to resist and we found ourselves having sex. But that's where things changed. We went so slowly, often barely moving. When she was getting too heated up we slowed right down and despite several close calls she managed to completely avoid orgasm. We moved in sync. No domination, no force, no running sex chat dialogue. It was the most immersive sex I've ever had. I couldn't of talked if I wanted to. I didn't know what talking was. Time stopped being relevant. Present. From my reboot days I learned really good ejaculation control which enabled the lengthly session.

Other-wordly...

There was a point where I felt something other-wordly. I was looking up at this women and saw pure beauty. Connecting with my deeply missed female polarity. We shared an intense eye lock. We actually stopped once or twice to cuddle before "connecting" again.

A phone call from a housemate ended it. She wanted to stay but had to leave. I saw in her eyes a need to 'finish' me off. She sat over my face and gave me oral to O. I literally exploded. That was by far the most powerful orgasm of my life. I had been abstaining from O and despite my efforts I had two wet dream earlier this week. Oddly spaced within 2 days of each other.

So what came of our experiment? 4 hours 'Karezza' session. She managed to avoid orgasm. I sadly failed. I'm surprised it happened that way given our history and me being the one to propose this idea. I remarked that I had never kissed someone that much before. Constant kissing.

What's my conclusion?

It's hard. It felt like both of us were constantly fighting our urges. Engaging and then backing off. Your mind telling you one thing and your body shouting another. The emotional day and mate starvation sure didn't help but I can imagine this discipline taking time to learn. Also how do you end? Without a clear cut finish line it's difficult to know when to stop. You can't finish and then cuddle, because this is a large part of what has been going on already. I never felt like I wanted to stop. How do you make time for Karezza?

Where from here? Who knows. I'm pleased to of experienced my first mutual non-orgasm driven sex session. I felt very close and bonded. Like we were physically close but also emotionally. Both of us in the same place. Just being together without a need to perform or calibrate for the other's sexual state as I always used to whilst pushing her from one orgasm to the next. And now my body seems to just be buzzing. Oxytocin overload.

I realise this is not the way to have casual sex and sadly her headspace of not wanting a relationship at this point in her life remains unchanged. So we have a problem. Can't be friends due to sexual attraction; it seems our bodies aren't going to change their minds on that one any time soon. Can't do a relationship because of her issues. But having sex like this would make it very hard to just catch up and hang out once in a while. Sadly this seems to suggest a final goodbye is the only route.

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Comments

Make no decisions just yet

Great start. Now, really get clear that you want to experiment with ending the next session by calming yourselves in a mutual meditation while connected. Make this plan and understanding together in a advance, so you won't feel obliged to force orgasms for each other. Find out what it's like to finish this other way.

You two sound so good for each other that you really ought to find out what karezza can do for you.enlightened

Something so good that doesn't work.

[quote=Marnia]Make this plan and understanding together in a advance, so you won't feel obliged to force orgasms for each other. Find out what it's like to finish this other way.[/quote]

Good advice. We never explicitely said we are going to try to not have orgasms but I guess it was assumed based on our earlier discussions about Cupid. I think she wanted to know I would still O with her as she mentioned that my inability to O post reboot had made her feel a little insecure.

[quote=Marnia]You two sound so good for each other that you really ought to find out what karezza can do for you.[/quote]

This seems to be the tragedy of our story. We are great together. Our personalities seem to perfectly compliment one another. Yesterday was an amazing day hanging out as friends followed by the most intense sexual experience of my life. We absolutely love each other's company. But somehow this isn't a relationship. It's almost because it is soo good the seriousness and questions of what it could be bubble to the surface. At times I wish she could stop thinking and just live in the moment, taking it one day at a time.

She told me she can't solve her problems in the context of a relationship. I have travelling and adventures to chase. We both want to live in different places. She has but just a year left in my country. I am willing to fight and overcome the barriers. She seems unready to commit in this way.

I understand

the insecurity during the reboot, but now that she has read Cupid, surely she can power through that insecure need to see you come in order to pursue a larger goal, no?

I see that long-term prospects have challenges, but that's no reason not to use the year you have to very best advantage.

Marnia wrote:

[quote=Marnia]the insecurity during the reboot, but now that she has read Cupid, surely she can power through that insecure need to see you come in order to pursue a larger goal, no?[/quote]

See - http://www.reuniting.info/blogs/intriqued/second-attempt-karezza-tantra-...

[quote=Marnia]I see that long-term prospects have challenges, but that's no reason not to use the year you have to very best advantage.[/quote]

I agree. Looking a year ahead is inventing problems that don't exist in the present. I want to be with her, she wants to be with me. It's a case of figuring out a structure which allows us to pursue ambitions and grow as individual whilst still being a strong part of each other's life.

That latter part can raise

That latter part can raise interesting questions. I agree that well relating partners might at least for a time relate. The question that usually comes up for me is that in that relating, partners might keep one or the other from a potentially more suitable partner. Perhaps this is only an issue because I've perceived a partner under temporary circumstances, say because there is some part of one of us that is incompatible with the other. That in turn limits present relating if the goals are different. That can manifest as not supporting mutual growth because growth means separation that one partner doesn't want. Once out of sync and thus not healthily relating, it might be better to move apart.

the truth is the opposite in my experience

When you two engage in daily bonding without orgasm, let's say for two or three weeks on most days, you'll be so close and there's no such thing as talk that really matters. It will dissolve into laughter.

Not that this is necessarily a good thing. You may be better off without each other. Who knows. I'm just saying that when you do this intense bonding and do not have orgasms, everything else becomes unimportant.

We had a "fight" the other day, my partner and I. We never fight so this was very unusual. And no post-O involved. But the next day, we hugged and kissed and that was it, the end of it. No talking it through other than a few sentences. That was enough and nobody cared anymore.

I think for so many relationships, each gets caught up in thoughts and talk due to honeymoon neurochemistry and post-O chemistry. With a lot of bonding this becomes unimportant.

emerson wrote:

[quote=emerson]I think for so many relationships, each gets caught up in thoughts and talk due to honeymoon neurochemistry and post-O chemistry. With a lot of bonding this becomes unimportant.[/quote]

An interesting thought. It's how friends operate. No questions, just joy at spending time with one another.