Karezza in casual sexual relationships

Submitted by Karezza Korner on
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(Clarity) A few weeks ago I experienced new levels of sexual bliss. He and I had been interested in each other for a year, but live far apart. We only see each other at an annual conference. He knew about my sexual practice and researched and read up on it. We very quickly found ourselves in bed and I moved into his hotel room with him. Even with all the other things we had to do, we spent five hours in connection over the course of two days. We both found in each other someone who was willing to try things nobody else had ever wanted to explore. He said all his previous lovers complained that he took too long, went too slow. He works with chi as an acupuncturist and chi gong instructor, so he already had experience with intentionally circulating energy. He also was familiar from chinese medicine with the idea that excessive orgasm could be a problem, although he himself has a couple orgasms a week. With such a present, willing partner, I began to get a glimpse of what this sexual practice could be. The connection of our hearts and the openness we felt were so thrilling. I felt high and shiny, blissful. On the third day he could barely touch me without risking orgasm, he felt so overstimulated. We were both feeling constantly high and distracted from the work we had to do at the conference. He wanted to come, just to get some relief. I went along with the plan, and had my first orgasms in 10 1/2 months. It was as if my body had forgotten how. They were ok, but nothing like they used to be. Immediately, the spell was broken, we got up from bed and got on with things. It was an enormous relief from the high energy state we had been in. I didn't feel all that insane. The next day he reserved us a hot tub and we practiced until my body completely remembered how to have earth shattering orgasms. Afterwards, I found some things he did a little bit annoying, but he was so sweet, we enjoyed our last few hours together.

For the following two weeks I observed closely. I fully expected to feel insane. I didn't. A mild ripple, maybe. It didn't seem to have all that huge of an impact, though. On day 14 I was outrageously horny. That passed. Now I feel back to a calm state. Not the remarkable shift that happened when I first gave up orgasm. It's nice to know that I can have some orgasmic sex and have so little effect from it.

I heard from my previous lover after a long silence. The last time I saw him we spent over an hour in connection, wonderful meditative quiet sex. He has been soul searching and realizing that he didn't believe that he deserved to feel as good as he had felt with me. He has more growing to do, and I'm glad our lovemaking helped him along.

I went to a museum talk about some Tibetan Buddhist art pieces. I learned a little about tantric philosophy. The speaker described the various levels of meditation and I felt glad that I had finally glimpsed inside the inner sanctum. Yes, I've been in there! I know what he is talking about! Now, to spend more time in there...

I have been on okcupid for a month or two and going on a lot of dates. I put a link to this site on my profile, partly to let potential dates know what they are in for, and partly to spread the word, even to people who aren't interested in me. I've gotten several messages from men just thanking me for letting them know about it. I've met several interesting men on there and am seeing a few of them. One in particular, though, is especially exciting to me right now. He is so intrigued by my sexual practice that he has stopped having orgasms. He's gotten through a week so far and seems really invested in giving this a real try. He's actually enjoying the build up of energy from quitting orgasm, not annoyed with it at all. And, like me, he is someone who loves sex and sensuality and savors the idea of hours and hours of slow, quiet breathing together.

 

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very helpful post

Hi, I'm trying out OKC too, but have been afraid to go out with anyone. I'm just scratching the surface with Karezza, and I was thinking maybe it didn't work if partners weren't able to connect at least several times a week, if not daily from living together.

This was helpful. I also mentioned Karezza in my profile, and put the link to this site. I've had several people ask -- a couple of guys replied with lack of interest. One of them assumed it was a "feminine" website and wouldn't really give it a chance. His loss. I'm not pushing it on anyone, as with the man I loved deeply before, he had felt "pressured" and I don't want to go there again.

Planning to try out a new meetup group soon - a cuddle group. It'll be fun to see is anyone there knows about Karezza.

Hope you post more on this topic.

thanks!
Shannon

I'd be a bit careful

I found out the "hard" way that this type of lovemaking, at least to me, isn't really suited to a casual relationship. The first woman I tried it with was the one that now became my long-time girlfriend.

This was quite inconvenient for her. It was supposed to be a casual thing. She had a boyfriend when we first met, lived far away and went to a different university.

After our first cuddle-only night she had already decided to leave her boyfriend, move to where I lived and switch universities.

Luckily it's all turning out fine for me, though. If that sounds unhealthy, just know that her previous boyfriend started threatening suicide and that she feels her life right now is finally falling into place because she's been hating everything about her previous life and she needed a fresh start anyway. There was no pressure from my side for her to do this. I'm still amazed that a woman would do this much for me :)

Only one thing: "casual" this was not, heheh!

Last night was out first K date in years.

It seems we reignited everything we once knew.
It started two days before with snuggling and planning. Then on the big day it began at noon with going to town for a walk along the creek with our g'boy on a leash and a little lunch. Then smoothies at home from berries fresh picked here and there. Then couple hours to maintain the gardens and meet back in the kitchen for some home made pizza. Every thing we eat is home made, practically.. Cleanup, chores, some PBS telyv with snuggles and then I got out the massage table to get my body tuned for giving mode. I gave her a good workover with a variety of essential oils depending on what my intuition picked up from her field and then we went to bed. We took our time and when we were ready for coitus we stayed engaged for 20 minutes playing with the energy and being silly and agreed that this would be our mode. Lots of breathing cycles to each other. I inhaled from her heart to mine and exhaled from my penis into her as she drew the love up to her heart and returned it to mine. I found that just breathing this way led to a thrusting impulse which we obliged for only a minute, so that the motion would not become the goal. In this state we set our next date for tuesday, in five days.
I feel great. My energy level is up and we embrace almost every time we pass, which is often. It is a nice way to begin the run to our next date. Last time we did a serious trial was ten years ago to a nice result, but she was not so convinced. It seems different now, like it had to incubate and experience less sustainable styles. Been together for 22 years. If a couple is going to be together for decades, they might as well get karezzad.
The big difference between orgasmic and K is that at our age, late 50's, orgasmic lovemaking dumps energy and you tend not to think about it for weeks until one or the other, usually me, makes a real effort at seduction. With K , the notion to make love has a natural priority and it takes effort to restrain yourself. O is depleting and requires extra energy, K builds and sustains energy. And you tend to think the best of your partner.