I've looked at many parts of this site but perhaps because I'm new, many of the addicts relating their recovery are already well on their way. How does one get started?
I just found the dopamine/masterbation connection. I'm 37, male, otherwise speaking I don't have an addictive personality. no problems with alcoholism, smoking, adrenilin type behavior, none of this really applies. I do recognize now that I have a problem with addiction to dopamine released through orgasm by means of masterbation at least twice a day, sometimes more and particularly more the day after a night of drinking with friends - this really made the dopamine connection for me.
I am between sexual relationships and until now, felt that this issue would simply dissipate and go away, replaced with union sex. I am in a very warm relationship with a woman but we've just not taken it to the next level - let's just leave that for now - So there has been a sort of pending expectation that the next sexual relations are "just around the corner".
Other times of being between relationships have been the same experience, self gratification at a rate of twice or more a day which disappeared once in a sexual relationship.
However this time is different, and is why I'd like to find balance in this part of my life.
I was divorced in 2003, between then and meeting this current relationship interest is about 4 years. The longest time by far for me. During that time I've been with 4 women, each one - three night periods - very short as sexual relationship go. I found I could not orgasm nor maintain erection for more than 5 minutes-much different than ever before. At the time I thought it was just the pressure of the situation-one night stand and all or the after effects of the divorce which was traumatic and that this too would "just go away" once I was in a true termed relationship. But reading here, I begin to worry that this might actually be a direct effect of twice daily self gratification and the different stimulations involved.
I realize that my thinking is/was faulty and that this will not "just go away" without some effort on my part.
- how to take that first step
- during recovery, and afterwards what could be considered a healthy level of masterbation 1-2 per week? Or is it like alcoholism where one must stop completely and revert to wet dream releases (when single-obviously union sex would replace otherwise) to avoid further dopamine relapse?