Submitted by the_electric_d on
Printer-friendly version

Hello!

I'm pretty new to this website but after reading what other people have written on these forums I thought I'd share my experiences and see if any of you could relate to them.

some background info-

Male -23yrs old- single - have masturbated everyday since the age of 13 - frequency 1/2/3 times a day

About July this year I decided to kick the ol habit of masturbation. Having read many sources (mostly online stuff i'd found) about the harmful effects excessive masturbation can have on your body and how I related to a fair few of them, i.e lethargy, moodiness, depression, it motivated me to stop completely. COLD TURKEY.

The benefits were pretty amazing to say the least, My attitude to life has completely changed, I am more upbeat, happy with myself, alot more happy around others, more sociable, more energy/vitality and more motivated to do things (did my first ever 10k run the other week never thought i'd have the energy to do anything like that!),

I noticed some physical changes as well, I can seem to grow facial hair a hell of alot quicker then before, my skin looks more healthy and what was also unusual is that the hair on my head has gotten alot thicker?!?!?! has anyone else had this? I also had my first wet dream (have had 4 altogether within 3 months) since quitting masturbation.

HOWEVER, since quitting masturbation i have almost doubled my porn viewing time and this has become a real bitch in my life to get rid of, for some reason i'm finding this much harder to give up then masturbation and i need advice, recommendations on how i can stop this. I tell myself i have got a problem but then the next day will tell myself its not a big deal to look at porn, I just dont feel like there will be any siginificant benefits of giving up porn but i know i'm completely wrong.

Any advice would be great

T.E.D

Congratulations on giving up

Congratulations on giving up MBing. It seems you have recovered physically. If you want to fully recover, however, you have to kick the P viewing to the curb. Your stilling seeing women in an objectified way and stilling using P as an escape mechanism. You must have strong willpower to pulloff the M abstinence. Do your research on the negatives of P viewing to conjure up the motivation to end the viewing. I am no expert on how to approach such a thing ( i have failed countless times in my own personal goals and journeys) but I recognize the valuable asset of willpower you posses. It seems to me that the negatives of M' scared' you into give it up and your willpower saw you through it. I believe you have to 'scare' yourself again regarding the evils of P, either by envisioning the benefits of life without it or the negatives of life with it. Congrats again (APPLAUSE!!!!)

The porn thing is like the masturbation

From my experience, you have to attack the porn like you did the masturbation. There is no trick. It's going to be another tough COLD TURKEY trial. That's what I've done. I don't use internet blockers, as I know when I eventually have a lapse, I'll just crack them all, but so far so good. But honestly, yeah, it's hard.

The real solution, of course, is to go out and look at real women. Lately, that's what I've been doing. It's... better for me, to be honest. Maybe eventually I'll actually communicate with one of them and get a date. :)

That being said, I'm really glad you mentioned the facial hair. It's a real bitch! Forgive my language on that, but now I'm having to shave every other day, instead of two days or three. I thought I was going nuts, thinking my hair was growing in faster. But you've confirmed that sinking feeling I've been having. It's kind of annoying, as I like having a clean face.

I guess it's back to masturbating and porn for me then. :)

Whoa!

Let's not be hasty. Wink

VERY glad to hear you're actually enjoying real women. Remember to look 'em in the eye and smile that, "You're cute!" message. I see dates in your future for sure. (Of course I have been for a while.)

Electric,

Thanks for sharing your story. Most people here have been cracking the code from the stop-the-porn direction, even if they keep a bit of (pornless) masturbation in the mix.

As you'll see if you nose around on the site, we think the challenge is dopamine balance. Intense arousal by any means has the potential to noodle with brain chemistry. This is why porn/porn-fantasy or porn/masturbation or porn-fantasy/masturbation or even lots of hot, kinky sex with a partner can all create neurochemical ripples that affect mood, sexual responsiveness, and a host of other things.

In other words, it's not true that "porn is to sex what a vodka ad is to vodka." Porn itself can become a brain drug. I was fascinated to learn that men on the compulsive masturbation support site report that they actually avoid climax. Instead they "edge" to porn for hours. Each "novel" video raises the dopamine in their brains, creating an altered state that is very much a "drug" trip, even though it's their own brains producing the drug in response to the hyper-stimuli.

Unfortunately, one repercussion is neurochemical fluctuations afterward that drive them right back for more. It seems that when our brain sees something it perceives as really "valuable," it wants to be sure we exploit the opportunity fully, so it can numb the pleasure response for a bit...making the "need" for more stimulation urgent.

For more, read, "Intoxicating Behaviors": http://blogs.alternet.org/peacebetweenthesheets/2010/10/11/intoxicating-...

Start a blog, too, if you like.

What about

skipping the porn? For some brains (most brains?), edging to porn blasts the brain with more exciting neurochemicals than masturbation without it (and without porn fantasy, of course).

No wonder you're feeling obsessed. The more you stimulate your brain intensely, the more it craves stimulation. In other words, moderate stimulation is less likely to lead to obsession than intense stimulation is. If this doesn't make sense, I can suggest some articles for you to read that will explain it better.

i recently quit porn as

i recently quit porn as well. masturbation has been on and off as im trying to not only recover my sensitivity but also understand and recognize the 'falls' before i approach them. what helped me quit porn and (eventually) masturbating was having someone i cared about. i came to realize that i was masturbating so much because i didn't feel worthy or deserving of a real relationship. that manifested into a habit that stifled my ability to actually connect on a sexual level with a real partner. but instead of going cold turkey i recessed my porn addiction through the same means in which it grew; gradually. i also decided that while i was weaning off the porn i would try to learn to control orgasm as well. i think the benefit of the energy re-circulation of not cumming added a positive re-enforcement aspect to what i was undertaking. within a week or two the desire for pornographic stimulation was weakening. but alas! i had substituted pornography with pictures of the girl im in love with (also the girl who introduced me to the idea of porn addiction and this site, shes amazing) while i was phasing out porn. thus i was still in an addiction to visual stimulation. after realizing this i began to masturbate while fantasizing about her which helped ease out of the visual stimulation problem. i then moved on to masturbation focusing solely on the physical pleasure. it helped immensely to the point where i no longer crave pornography or feel drawn to it. example: last week i was on the computer and clicked on a link that, whether i consciously recognized it or not, was a link to some scantly clad pictures from a GQ magazine. in the old days i would have welcomed this electronic sexual advance and responded with inappropriate action. but i was able to look at the pictures and feel they had no hold over me. actually i felt kind of embarrassed for letting it even go that far, but the test was passed and in the long run i am proud of the fact that i could recognize what was happening (not too proud of the initial embarrassment though) and consciously make the right decision.
as far as the whole controlling orgasm thing goes, the longest i have made it, being sexually active with my partner, has been three weeks. my sensitivity keeps coming back stronger with every new cycle but i would like to be able to maintain a lack of orgasm for much longer than three weeks so as to really feel its benefits. but TED, hang in there my friend, ive been going through this since july this year as well. it has been difficult but from what ive experienced so far, incredibly worth it.

Thanks Carlton

It's great to hear of your progress. I remember when the first porn guys began showing up in this forum. I didn't know what to say except, "Get a sweetheart, and play around with karezza." It makes it so much easier to have a partner.

But some of the men insisted that they wanted to restore balance before they'd be ready, so we just try to support people in whatever they want to do to move toward balance.

thanks marnia, i had started

thanks marnia, i had started by myself when my fiance was in the process of moving to the other side of the country to be with me, it helped a little bit (completely in the case of closing a porn addiction) but there have still been a lot of instances when i have lost control of myself with her. its wonderful to be aroused by a real person again but it seems like the sensitivity fluctuates, is this something that is likely to balance out with more practice?

I'd say

that depends on you. Is there any correlation between your losses of control and your fluctuations of sensitivity? Remember, there can be a delayed effect.

definitely. when i lose

definitely. when i lose control and cum while making love, i feel a little less sensitive each time i then engage in more love making sessions.

the first time if i cant recognize the falls in time, i cum a little bit (some spillage makes it past any last minute kegel) and my erection goes down.
the second time, a few minutes later, well make love again and it seems like i have less of a problem noticing the falls. this happens to be a new day 0 by our notes and over the next few days my sensitivity comes back and if we havent had sex during those few days, im back to cumming almost prematurely (by day 4 or 5) when we do. the cycle begins anew.

is it always the case that after slipping up and coming im going to drop in sensitivity? and will the time in between cumming and sensitivity gradually become more balanced?

RELAPSE!

So it happened, after 4 months of no masturbating I finally succumbed and binged twice. It was totally not worth it, the build up seemed amazing but the feeling afterwards, pure shit. However am not gonna dwell on it, am gonna restart, have installed K9 to help me with my porn addiction as well, feeling more positive then ever to break this! gonna start a blog as well,

BRING ON THE NEXT FEW MONTHS!

ED

The reason why your hair has

The reason why your hair has thickened up, OP, is because you have stopped masturbating. Everytime you masturbate, it causes a release of a hormone called dihydrotestosterone (DHT). DHT has long been known to be the culprit in male pattern baldness. I originally gave up masturbating in 2004, and after 4 months, I was amazed to see, that new hair began growing, around balding areas of my hairline. I have since been abstaining for the past six months, and, again, hair is starting to grow again.

I can also attest to everything else you said, in regards to skin looking healthier, beard growing faster, and increased energy levels. Life is so much better since I gave up sex. I can now relate to women as human beings, instead of lusting over them. So this is great also.

Help required!!!

Hi!!
I am a newbie over here. and I too am freakishly daily, kinda fighting wid myself and trying my level best to not masturbate bt as i said its like a war going on, it comes back again nd again nd i feel too weak mentally after masturbating. I have nt masturbated for a maximum period of abt 20-22 days bt m just nt able to carry that for a more lengthier period of time.
after masturbating, it feels like everything's going almost at opposite pace as i want. I really get low on confidence and all that.
So i really, really want ur help as i too want to get out of it!!
So plz respond nd help me get out of this!!
Waiting eagerly for any reply.
Plz help!!

Over Masturbating over a long period of time...

Hi

Thanks for all the comments. I kind of agree with most of you, and like most am talking from experience. And suffered from very very similar things.

Most people masturbate, however, some of us for reasons, get more addicted to it. This can have severe consequences...

I am going to give some of you a different perspective. I hope it will help some of you friends...

From a modern medicine point of view, too much masturbating is not serious, fluid and energy lost. No big deal.

However, look at things from a traditional medicine, and our experiences begin to make a hell of a lot more sense. In traditional medicine like Ayurveda, the body uses its most refined energy to make sperm. same energy is also used to balance the physiology. Too much MBing over a long period of time, begins to fatigue the body on a subtle and gross level. However, different people have different levels of stamina. Bigger size people are more tolerant and will show different symptoms to over MBing than thiner. A thiner constitution will become thiner and loose hair, whilst a slightly chubby guy might get fatter.

Bottom line my friends, as we all have experienced, it will eat into your health. Moody, bad complexion, hair loss, constipation, inability to concentrate.....I am sure a few of us can add more points...

On top of all of this, our energy starts to flow more aggressively into sexual than before. Common term, get horny quicker!! An addiction is formed, one that will shrivel up and debilitate you, if you are not careful...

To address this energy flow, I suggest a simple meditation . One simple free and v v effective one is :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0rSmxsVHPE

Tackel it from both angles, mental and physical. Realise how damaging it is to your life, and stop. Tackle the addiction via meditation.

Drink hot milk everyday. In Ayurveda milk is very effective for this.

I am not part of any cult or religion, just like one of you, was touched to see people describing what they are going through.

Gd Luck