Cupid's Poisoned Arrow Topics

Lovers' Ultimate Sex Hack: Karezza

Happy loversKarezza side effects may include more energy and a healthier libido

Not long ago, there was a brief publicity flurry about a venerable, but little known, approach to sex called "karezza" (pronounced ka-RET-za). ABC ran a news story and karezza articles showed up from Argentina to India. The ladies of The View even grappled with it. A karezza subreddit gained steam, and Germany gave birth to a new karezza website.

Pair Bonding 101: Beware Novelty-As-Aphrodisiac

How will you fill your pair-bonder “hole?”

Prairie volesIn recent years, scientists have been studying a fascinating mammal in greater depth: the prairie vole. There are many closely related vole species, but some species mate for life while others don't form pair bonds at all (like most mammals).

The prairie vole belongs to that curious 3 percent of "socially monogamous" mammal species, which includes humans. They pair up, usually for their short lives, sometimes with a bit of extra-pair coupling on the side ("cheating"). Again, like humans.

The Lazy Way to Stay in Love

Discover the Magic of Bonding Behaviors

Exotic loversWhile waiting for a concert to begin at our local county fair, my husband and I checked out a reptile exhibit that included an animal trainer with a live alligator resting calmly on his lap. As we stroked the gator, I asked the trainer why it was so tame. “I pet it daily. If I didn’t, it would quickly be wild again, and wouldn’t allow this,” he explained. I was surprised. Only months earlier I had begun to grasp the power of bonding behaviors (skin-to-skin contact, gentle stroking and so forth) to evoke the desire to bond without our having to do anything more.

What Can Chimps Teach the Church About Sex?

hug sculptureCurious about why a pope condemned karezza, I recently waded through the late Archbishop Exner's The Amplexus Reservatus (The Reserved Embrace). It traced some eye-opening Catholic doctrine about the purpose of marriage, much of which dates back to Church father Augustine of Hippo (b. 354 CE). He's well known for his prayer, "Grant me chastity and continence...but not yet!"

How to Talk to Cupid

What signals are you giving your mate?

Aphrodite reasoning with CupidHit by Cupid's arrow! It feels so good that you might seek a permanent bond, convinced that passion will keep you both quivering with ecstasy for a lifetime. Yet Cupid is a sneaky dude, or rather the biological agenda he personifies does not, in fact, promote enduring love without a little tweaking.

Porn-agains: meet the middle-aged men - and women - warped by internet porn

Society's anxiety about online porn has been so focused on the young that its impact on the older generation has gone largely unnoticed

I met a nice, middle-aged, middle-class mother at a dinner party who told me  that she was very worried about the effects of internet porn on adolescent males. What, she wondered, was all this internet porn doing to the young? Did we really want a generation of teenage boys whose idea of emotional intimacy was anal sex?

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