Yesterday, I was fairly critical of overtly sexual music videos and maybe I was a bit too harsh. This morning, again, I was watching the local MTV and, even though I know that it is fake, I don't think there is something wrong with enjoying a women expressing her sexuality. Love and sex are basic human needs and as an artist it is only normal to tap into these emotions. Why should I be so harsh on myself for appreciating the artistic expression of a beautiful, talented women?
I don't even see why it would be wrong to 'enhance' the pleasure a little bit... This is not the same as masturbation, don't get me wrong. I have no intention of actually having an orgasm. It's just that, due to my abstinence, it has been a long time since I've been this erect. Aren't I allowed to enjoy these new found benefits of abstinence? Aren't we supposed to learn to appreciate sexuality in a different way? Well, that's what I'm doing. Mind you, I'm not masturbating... I'm simply enjoying the sexuality of a beautiful women.
Now my mind is starting to drift of and starts having fantasies about these women in the videos.This is probably not a very good idea. But is it really that wrong? I mean, it's not the same as watching porn right? Granted, these fantasies look an awful lot like the scenarios you see in porn-videos but surely this cannot have the same impact on my brain as actually watching the videos in real life? By the way, as long as I don't orgasm I'm fine. So, no worries.
However, is this really the best solutions? I mean, I'm starting to feel REALLY horny. If I stop now I'm just going to be cranky for the rest of the week and, who knows, maybe I'll end up on the web surfing for real porn... Oh no, I can't let this happen! Better get it over with now...
It's sad, isn't it? How we fool ourselves? This was me this morning. So yeah, I fell of the wagon... Luckily, I was spending the weekend away from home and I deliberately did not take my laptop with me (for a big part due to the suggestions of some of the other members on here, tnx for that). So it wasn't a disastrous fall-back. Afterwards I successfully avoided the 'chaser-effect' and I even had a good afternoon. Still, not feeling very proud of my day... :s