Day 1

Submitted by adamkodee on
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I thought I had made it to 60 days. But really I've failed myself. I can't believe I somehow justified looking at static images of P. I've thrown away all the progress I've made over the past two months. I guess it started with peeking during the 5th week. I had mistaken P cravings as a returning libido. It really was only a peek. Maybe 5 minutes of static images, most not even nude, but I sure had the dopamine rush anyway. Then it turned into a weekly thing. 15 minutes here or there - still testing myself. I thought if I could look at these images without MO, then I must be making progress in the reboot. Maybe, I thought, I had reached the point where these images really didn't have the same effect on me they used to. Wrong. I looked at more pictures. More often. Every few days, I'd click a link, then another, then another. Anything that could get around K9. Before I knew it, it had been a month and I feel like I'm at square one. ZERO progress. So today is day 1 of a 90 day reboot to cure ED (well, we'll see where I'm at at 90 days).

TL; DR
Peeking at P = Bad. Still haven't MO, but resetting counter.

Comments

It's easy to be hard on

It's easy to be hard on yourself (of course you should be to a certain extent) but you do have more experience now than before you started relapsing. Without learning from mistakes we can't really learn at all when it comes to this stuff.

You're less likely now to repeat this mistake again yes? Good progress.

Keep going brah Wink

Thanks for all the support.

Thanks for all the support. Of course I'm being extra hard on myself because I'm making up for all those years I wasn't hard enough on myself. And now that I've finally addressed the problem and know how to reboot, I've stilled failed. That being said, I've still never been more optimistic about anything in my life. I know I'll get there. And I have everyone that came before me to teach me the way - as I hope those that are starting the reboot can take something from my experience.

Good luck to everyone on your journey