adamkodee's blog

Round 2 - Day 0

Submitted by adamkodee on

Complete and total relapse. No binge. Just one PMO session. This is proving to be a lot more difficult than I first thought...

I'm not sure I even want to discuss the terms of the trigger and the process right now. I'm just so disgusted with myself...

Day 18 - No MO; Day 0 of no P

Submitted by adamkodee on

I'm officially resetting the counter on the no P.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been really steady about no MO. It's black and white. Either you masturbate and have an orgasm or you don't masturbate at all. It's like quitting smoking. There's a defined line that you just don't cross. At least I've made it this far without stepping over yet. I haven't made it very easy for myself.

Day 5 - Depression

Submitted by adamkodee on

Last night, as I was trying to get to sleep, I was feeling pretty optimistic until depressing thoughts started to creep in. I have enough faith in the reboot process to almost see the light at the end of the tunnel (even though I'm still so far away). I picture a life without ED, where I can really connect with my partner instead of just 'performing'. I picture lollipops and daisies and rocket ships and fireworks. I see everything in my life coming together and the first step is the reboot.

But then I start thinking...

Day 4 - Sleep

Submitted by adamkodee on

I didn't have much trouble falling sleep last night. In fact, I'm falling sleep much earlier than I have been (usually an insomniac). But the past couple of nights, I've been tossing and turning. At 3:30AM (after about 4 hours of sleep), I already feel rested enough to conquer the day. This is the opposite of my usual practice of sleeping in. This is more energy than I've had in years.

Day 3 - [History]

Submitted by adamkodee on

30 years old, heavy PMO for 20 years; experiencing ED and delayed ejaculation

#introduced to P around 5 yeas old - softcore and hardcore magazines
#viewed first P video at 9-10
#MO starting at 12
#heavy PMO at 13 - really using almost any material for arousal, but mostly static image galleries
#15 years old - heavy petting with girlfriend - handjob; no issues with erection, but experienced delayed ejaculation (or no ejaculation at all)
#16 years old - delayed ejaculation with blowjobs with rare O
#17 years old - heavy PMO with internet videos