Day 16: relapse

Submitted by addicted_to_pron on
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I think I put too much pressure on myself with no PMO and this 'no thinking about girls' thing which totally did not work out.

The path from regular internet to porn is extremely quick: I was first looking at this youtube video, then on the side there was a hot girl in a skimpy dress and I figure "oh well its not porn, its just youtube" but then it was a slippery slope. Coupled with the fact that I got pretty upset last night at the bar, waking up hungover, feeling the urge and saying FUCK IT, I slipped up and PMO'ed with a chaser.

But I don't really feel that badly about it. I was expecting to feel terrible. I don't. But did I find that it was hardest to not continue to PMO after the relapse. So I'm back in the train now... Day 1.

The whole 'no girls' policy was difficult but fine for the first few days, but toward the weekend I found myself weakening my own resolve and doubting the wisdom of my this little experiment. But I blew off a couple of girls I knew and felt bad about it - but I did it as a sacrifice. Toward the weekend, I was checking out girls more or less as usual.

Whatever it is, the no girls policy really fucked with my head and made me extremely confused about many things. Is that a good thing? Hmmm. So, I'm not sure if I am going to continue it.