Day 2-Im fcking up big time

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Submitted by alpha777 on
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im fcking up

i know, im supposed to have graduated to nofap or reddit or whatever

but f it

i know marnia will prob hate me that im back and not on reddit

im suffering big time. i finally crumbled a week ago and watched some porn Sad

2 days back to back, heavy binge Sad

after a year+++, i crumbled. i fcked up and im in this horrible loop of beating myself up and saying oh well, might as well start watching porn again

im having a VERY, VERY, VERY hard time not to mess with it again

its been nagging at me, heavy and im trying not to go back

as much as im trying to lie about it, i feel like SHIT.

ive been masturbating 2-5 times a days since then and get HUGE depression spells

i knew i had to come back when mary jane cravings started creeping back. reaaalllyyy bad

then i my brain turned off and i started living on the computer again, WTF

guys, if you are clean, please take it from me.....dont mess with that porn or masturbating when rebooting. its evil

im aiming for 60 days to get back on track

i wont post a lot, but knowing you guys are here and that im posting holds me accountable

i HAVE stop fapping

plz forgive me for messing up

Comments

The

most important thing is that you forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and most of us have had relapses. This is why it is an addiction, because getting out is not easy. Don't look back and start again, try to be patient. Best wishes.

okay, it's past now

you can come back to the here and now. The relapse is past. It is done, don't beat yourself up.

Have you considered checking out the YBOP related forum, yourbrainrebalanced.com. Marnia put me onto it and it is really awesome. Diff. age categories, but you do not have to linit yourself to a group your age. But the guys are very dedicated and helpful.

Alpha! Man, I have read so

Alpha! Man, I have read so many of your PMO-Free Journals over the months/years. You were on top of the world. I could see it in your writing. SNAP OUT OF IT DUDE! Get back on your A-Game! I know you can do it. And yes, I totally feel your pain. I have gone those 100 days PMO free and in a blink of an eye I would relapse/binge hardcore. And the thing is, I ALWAYS regret it. It was never worth it. I know you know that. I expect you to be on day 16 in 2 weeks. Good luck bud.

sorry about the relapse man.

sorry about the relapse man. I'm sure that this reboot will be faster than your original one though. The improvements will come a lot faster. I know it feels like a long time, but if you can get past the first 1-2 weeks, it starts to get exponentially easier. Also remember, you already rebooted once, so you already know you can do it.

good luck