Day 42

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Submitted by alpha777 on
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Everything is going good, super low day, I can feel it already lol.

I'm just going to rub my chest.

I really would like a sweetheart, I just dont see how its possible to just chill with a girl without her developing feelings for you. plus, my list is kinda dry right now. i really need to go out and socialize more but i just have so many transitions. i have to find a new place, i have to work a lot to meet my rent, i got to find a new job asap, etc etc etc. i will catch up eventually, im just getting murked by lifes changes right now.

I had a really good week nonetheless.

Things I've noticed:

pregnant chicks are always super attracted to me everytime i abstain. for some reason, i'm SUPER attracted to them also. two different occasions this has happened to me. in both occasions, it was like we feel in love and even became best friends. yes i know, super weird lol.

im still getting lots of smiles from women

i get opened a lot by chicks

i was at a really huge church in sunday and this girl ACROSS the entire building just locked in on me. she kept staring at me. then it happened about four more times with four different girls. they just kept looking at me. i wouldve approached them after but i was approached by two chicks right after church ended. back to back. unfortunately, i wasn't attracted to the first one at all and the second one was an older woman (she was cute but noo thanks). im going to have to go to a young adults meeting to find some chicks. im prowling for a wifey lol.

i went through this brief period where all of my relationships felt sexual. not horny sexual but the interactions just had this intense sexual vibe. like interactions with my mom, some homeboys, my boss, my church moms, etc etc etc. i was really weird and it made me really shy for about 3-4 days. i think it was a wave or something that just had to be cleansed out of my system because it was really weird. i felt like everyone was trying to get with me or there was just some underlying sexual tones. really super weird. i just chalk it up to the fact that my brain is truly recalibrating.

my last reboot, i had sex at day 32. this time around on day 31, i just so happened to have leakage/wet dream when i woke up at. it was very pleasurable but it wasnt a normal O. in the dream, i felt love for the person and the whole day when i woke up, i was in love. reeaaalllyyyy weird. i had butterflies in my chest the whole day for the girl i made love to. i did experience a chaser a day or two afterwards. but im glad that it happened. it revealed a lot of tension for me. the next day i was lot nicer to people, smiled more, people were lot friendlier with me, i guess my body knew it was time!

ive seen a couple peaks of my real libido. its interesting to note that we are not supposed to be horny 24/7. looking back, the only reason i was horny when i PMO'd was when i was anticipating getting home to watch a video or thinking about a hot scene that i watched first thing in the morning or how bad i wanted to have sex with the girl that just passed me. i actually enjoy not having raging hormones.

i feel like if the right girl came around, we would fall in love very easy. i would be very gentle but very firm, and very loving. i have a lot of energy that just wants to be expressed right now. ive been doing pushups every morning when i wake up but i just i really should a least find a girl to talk to on the phone. i just really dont want to catch feelings for anyone and vice versa. the only girl "homegirl" i have is on a vacation Sad

the one or two hot chicks at my work that i was flirting with quit, the only woman socializing ive had is with my mom Sad

this is not a woe is me post. just a venting. i feel a lot better now lol. in conclusion, i feel more whole, i feel really good, REALLY STABLE, and a lot more manlier. i just feel good. just got work out the minor kinks and keep it going!

in the past 42 days-one wet dream leak (no orgasm though, just woke up with wet boxers) and the next days afterwards, i kept peeing sperm. THIS IS THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER GONE WITHOUT ORGASM IN MY LIFE. wheeewww. i can do this!

90 days here i come!

Comments

you should be super encouraged

You are honest and frank about where you are at and observant. You sound like a fun guy and you seem to have a sense of humor. You will attract girls like bees on honey.

I will propose something to you. And that is that you try to go out with as many women as you can regardless of physical attraction. Just getting the practice, just being entertaining and interacting is so much fun and so good for you.

What's the worst that can happen? You'll develop some female friendships and maybe they'll introduce to to "the one."

Instant physical chemistry isn't really the big deal everyone makes it out to be. There are a tremendous amount of rewards just being with different women and experiencing them regardless of anything else.

And if you cuddle with some of them, and I mean cuddle, this is tremendously soothing. It will help your brain rewire so much and make it so easy not to PMO.

 

thank you emerson

thank you emerson Smile

thats why i love this site: paradigm shifts come by the dozen!

you are right, i am so used to having that super intense physical attraction....sex like a jack rabbit....then it always fizzles out and crashes!!!

i am going to take your suggestion Smile

thank you, i will update with how it goes Smile

Glad to hear things are improving

Just remember, patience patience patience. You won't catch true feelings unless it's something meaningful... as long as you're aware of yourself. Something I must remind myself of constantly.. take risks and live w/o regrets.

I can relate

Your reflections sound familiar to me. I see catch 22 written everywhere i look just now. It must be something about being in the 40 days territory. You can see the potential of things, but cant quite see how you can reach them. Take the docs: patience, patience, patience, and yep fill the gap with routine, anything thats wholesome done religiously regularly i am sure is one of the big keys to bearing that patience.

How do you find the right girl? Be the right guy?

Finding the right girl

That's the biggest contributor to my hopelessness at the moment. I don't want to have a purely sexual relationship, and I don't want to relationship with purely anyone. Besides the fact that being the right guy is about as likely as winning the lotto. It seems that way with American women, anyhow.

TREEHOUSE! you my dude for

TREEHOUSE! you my dude for real lol

AND YES! you can sense that goodness overthere on the other side! but then its like we got to chill till we get there all the way AND APPRECIATE THE JOURNEY ALONG THE WAY lol.

we are neos breaking the matrix!

AMAZING TIP: anything thats wholesome done religiously regularly i am sure is one of the big keys to bearing that patience!

i've been doing pushups everyday so that is going to be my routine until i break through the veil Smile

your blog entry fills me with

your blog entry fills me with great optimism alpha777. It sounds like you've got the laws of attraction by the horns. I can't wait till I make it to day 40 and beyond. I really want some of what you've acquired.

Maybe I should think about attending church regularly. lol

yes! church is the best. i

yes! church is the best. i love women that love God.

the women there have loads of self respect for themselves also! they know how to guard their heart and not let any guy just come in. you will find a lot of super alpha women in church. and they all have goals and separate lives from wanting or being in a relationship....

AND YES! the women are flockinggggggggg to me.

i get hit on every day. every single day.

i always wanted to be that "guy".

now, im that guy and i dont even want to sleep with them lol

alpha

dude just get a few numbers and take them out to see a movie, so you dont have a chance to have sex or anything