Okay, I am at a breaking point. I've been saying it for months: I have to get a gym membership. I have wayyyy to much sexual energy pent up. I've been doing that one technique where you have the energy flow to your head....pretty awesome!
So yea, tomorrow I am starting up; no questions asked!
I still get these really weird waves of weirdness, like impeding doom. I'm realizing those waves were always there. It being brought to my consciousness.
I am truly healing. I remember having them before I found this website, but I would numb it out with the million other addictions or distractions I had. It's my body signaling to me, something is amiss energetically. Something needs to be healed.
So yea, the impeding doom that has been following me for years....I know what you are! it is slowly but surely dissipating. I'm excited to see where my life goes when it goes away completely.....hmmmmm!!!
Whats even better is these really intense waves of happinness roll over me at the most random-est times. I get happy for no reason lol. Sweet.
Some other great realizations:
HUGE EPIPHANY TODAY!
A couple weeks ago, I emailed Marnia about this weird vibe I get from people. It was a super sexual vibe that I was picking up from everyone. From men and women. Felt like they wanted something from me. Man this is a huge epiphany, I am so excited, such a game changer for me. It's not sex they want from me or anything weird....THEY JUST WANT TO BE LOVED!!!!!
They see someone comfortable with themselves and they just want to be comfortable too.
So yea, I was trying it out at work. Just allowing people to just feel the love within me. Just allowing them to truly see me for who I am.
Just be myself completely. It's awesome! People respond to it very well. I have to be careful though. I feel like there is this line I could cross into where I could manipulate people to fall in love with me lol.
The bigger picture here is that I am going to free myself to love and let others love me.
It doesn't have to be sexual or them wanting to pull something from me. They just want to be loved! It's a huge compliment to me that they can intuitively feel I full of it I am doing something right Finally!
I thought it was gay that guys would try look like that at me. But it was once again my brain cleansing out all the junk and programming.
And the girls eye-fcking me EVERYWHERE I go? No seriously. EVERYWHERRREEEE. They just want to be loved too! They want to know what I am about and why I have this glow around me and why I am so comfortable and so confident in my skin.
It is similar to when you are in elementary school. Everyone was pure and just wanted to be happy.
Everyone just vibes with me like we are little kids again. I remind them about that child like innocence. They want to be there too.
I also just cut out another addiction: pheromones. Yup thats right. I used pheromones. I had to cut it off this weekend. Since rebooting, I was taking huge stretches of not using it. Recently, I had to cut it out once and for all.
I was using it as a social crutch.
Since I didnt have mary-jane to buffer my social interactions, I had to pick something else up (about a year ago).
I'm still re-adjusting to social interactions and it helped at first.
The pheromone I was using gives off a signal that you are an alpha male that is sexual and charismatic. Lately when I have been using it, people have been ignoring me or super hostile towards me.
I realize it's because I am doubling up on a signal that I am already emitting. DUH!
Man, it is so awesome to get to the other side. Please people, stop relapsing! It's such a beautiful world over here!
But yea, great journey nonetheless. God is good, life is getting better, and yea.
The better it gets, the better it gets!