Day 45

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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on
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Seems to be working. Although I get hungry for touch, I haven't felt the intensity of starvation. Of course, my feelings and progress toward karezza healing is up and down, but more like waves of the ocean, not a roller coaster. When she was agreeing to let me fuck her, I would be sated for 3-4 days. Now I want a good meal daily. Ann Rice's vampires speak eloquently to the dilemma of this hunger. My last good meal was Sunday when she called me to her bed in the morning and we spent 20 minutes in contact...just 4-6 10 second hug snacks and peck kisses since (today is Wednesday).
My concern today is how to get Izzy to make time for some B&B's without feeling like I'm begging. OK I confess, the real issue I should be focusing on is my feeling of need and how can I shift my touch to giving. How do I fill myself? I've seen the problem as Izzy not making time. Truth is, I am so co-dependent, trying to read and manipulate her, that I don't ask for the time. I don't offer the Bonding Behavior. But I see the problem, I own it, and I'm working on it.
Hungry last night, I waited for her to go to bed. She lay naked on the sheets, fanning herself. I know she doesn't want my added heat, but I am famished. I ask, "How can I touch you in a way that pleases you?" I feel myself a novice having to learn about her. "Blow me a kiss." I did, and we laughed. Then she said, "OK, briefly" For 30 seconds I lay on top of her, gentle kisses and molding every part of me into her. I withdrew, without rancor (very important) before she asked me to leave. It was a nice snack, a big piece of celery with peanut butter.
Goal: Remodel my touch to a genuinely giving attitude. OK, truth, get her hooked on oxytocin. I'm clicking on BB's and Exchange of the Day, every day