2016-01-10 Sender offered accurate insight and gave me 3 suggestions:
"2. Read this book: http://www.maleinitiative.com/six-initiatives/. It's available free online, or you can order a copy. It's a short read, but it's powerful stuff. It really helped me to put my finger on a number of long-held misconceptions I had about sex, relationships, women, and my role in the whole thing."
I'm reading it.
From page 4: "...he creates an environment of safety and protection for women and children."
How safe does my Izzy feel? If she says "no" she is faced with my pain, anger, and petulance. If she takes her clothes off, I want sex. If she doesn't meet me in an open and loving way, again she must deal with my pain. My expectations destroy any sense of safety. We're back to that, aren't we? Sender suggested don't ask for anything for 90 days. Looks harder than giving up porn or orgasm. I want a damn chip when I make it!