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Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on
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I am thankful for the love and support found here. I am grateful for Marnia and Gary bringing forth the important information about orgasm and bonding. I give thanks for Izzy's embrace!




Yes, much gratefulness and many, many thanks to Marnia, Gary and everyone on here for everything. Still a bit of a wall flower but things are shifting and I so much appreciate the knowledge, wisdom and shared experiences here on this forum. It is all so valuable.

I am

Noticing my negative self-talk. Wallflowers are great people, but I think I used it sort of self-critically, as though what I have isn't enough. That's not gratitude. My apologies. Phew! Glad I caught that! :)


ever so gentle...can't be hard on myself any more like I used to. Not worth it, never was.

Ladies: South City Midnight Lady is a song that's been going through my mind a lot lately. I'm not taking that self-critically though. It's just a nice sort of romantic song about a drifter and a prostitute. I've been retaining for like two months and prostitutes are not what I think of (sorry ladies) though the idea of a woman in close proximity at all times is starting to sound very, very nice. I see ladies here and there on the horizon, we interact, they seem very interested and so do I (well, sort of). I feel something moving in some direction that looks good. Being a kind of astrologer, I've been looking at charts for the coming year and it sure looks to me like something romantic could very well take shape.

Thanks for asking, that was nice...I'm not feeling the least bit pessimistic about my immediate future.


You make me smile :)
I have a goal: to be a more loving person. Indeed, as you say, it starts with compassion for me. Catching myself in that negative self talk is so much a gift, that I must smile.
Those ladies...they are such a treasure. Cherish every moment; unabashed adoration and your genuine smile is a precious gift. You can stand in confidence in your truth completely independent of their response. I think it was in Shimoff's "Love for No Reason" (sorry, I'm not sure) that I read the line, "I love you and it has nothing to do with you". Loving is an internal state of being and it's expression is your gift.
Thanks for sharing


That's a great goal Aphrodites. I had a lucid dream the other night. Seems I caught myself there too. All about waking up, isn't it? I like your quote. Very, very nice.

Thank you for sharing as well.

Passed CPA to Another Family Member

Over Thanksgiving, I passed a copy of CPA to my brother-in-law's wife. She is open-minded and takes thoughtful approaches on food, spirituality, and exercise. She is an avid reader. She said, words to the effect, that she is aware of Tantra and practices elements of it with my brother-in-law. I did not ask if it was White, Grey, or Black Tantra; I really did not want to pry. I also told her that I found CPA so convincing and important that I passed copies of it to our two adult children.

I think CPA is now in another patch of fertile soil.

Fertilization approach

I passed CPA on to a lady friend of mine orally last night only to be met with resistance, a survey of sexuality from East to West and a crash course on the importance of orgasm. Tried to roll with it but it overtook me and I was submersed in a sea of regret for opening my mouth. We're still friends and it is possible we could revisit the subject at a later date. Maybe next time I will try the bonding approach, or the silence is golden approach.

In general, it seems best

to wait for people to express dissatisfaction or frustration with respect to intimate relationships before proposing such an unfamiliar alternative.

I guess one comeback to the "orgasm is beneficial" folks might be to say, "Yes, but might it be important to figure out one's ideal frequency, given the neurochemistry of climax?" If they seem remotely interested, they could read:

I've often been amazed at how some people seem determined to pull the information out of me. These days, I generally wait for an indication of that before proceeding.


This person expressed frustration about sexuality at first (in spite of her beliefs about it), which is why I even brought up Karezza. You are right to let the person pull the information out of you first before proceeding. Thanks for that...and for the articles.


I have a question. Excuse my little ignorance about this but, as in this line I am quoting from the article entitled Lovers' Ultimate Sex Hack:

"First, a bit of context. As a culture, we have trained ourselves that sex = orgasm, but for many primates this isn't true. Various apes and monkeys often copulate without ejaculation."

When we say "sex without orgasm", does that also imply without ejaculation? Aren't they two different things? I don't think I ever had orgasm without at the same time ejaculation, but some men say they can have orgasm without ejaculation. This always confused me, and in fact someone I was talking to about this wondered the same thing.

Thank you

O without E or E

I have done a solo practice (too weird to do with my Izzy) of breathing and rapid abdominal contractions in attempt to mimic an orgasm. Female porn actors have been doing it forever. I paid attention to what my body was doing during orgasm and made those actions bigger....totally spazzed out; sometimes to exhaustion. No erection (unless I wanted one), no dopamine build up in anticipation, no ejaculation, no hangover...I found it satisfying in a lot of ways. BUT, it is certainly not a substitute for karezza.