Back Again!

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Submitted by Arnold on
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Hi Y'all,

I've a new computer and the old one has been retired so I'm Internet connected again. My health went through some major crises and changes over the last few months. My inner world has changed fundamentally as well.

I haven't found a physical partner yet, but have developed a fairly satisfactory connection with my inner child, some friends that I call to my mind (imagination) at will, and a partner with whom I do the same. Perhaps I'll explore the nurturing phase of the Exchanges with one of them at some point rather than the energy healing and simple cuddling/sleeping together I am currently doing. The effect on my mood can be quite strongly positive. It's a relief from all the deeply rooted frustration I've experienced in the past. I'm still strongly convinced of the value of non-sexual touch for my own healing (and of most people). Perhaps I'm now settling into getting my energy stronger and aligned with this understanding regardless of how terrified the people with physical bodies around me seem to be. I'm tired of adjusting to their fears.

I have an excellent Cranio-sacral practitioner who came into my life in the summer. I asked her about her interest in a paid contract exploring 3 weeks of non-sexual healing along the lines of the nurturing phase of the Exchanges. She told me that she was seeing someone and that seemed to veto that idea. It felt good to ask. It helped me release the longing. Her energy is remarkably good. It was hard for me to stay out of the longing before I asked. It was risky however. Fortunately, asking didn't seem to jeopardize our original connection. I still get sessions with her and they are still excellent.

I hope you are all well.

Sincerely,

"Arnold"

PS: Would doing the Exchanges with a non-physical partner still be considered Karezza?

Comments

Hi!

Glad you're back on an even keel.

Connection is always good, but I have no experience with non-physical versions of karezza.

Imagination

Hi Marnia,

Great to hear from you! Smile

You are lucky to be blessed with physical partner(s). It seems I'm limited to my imagination for now. I have noticed a strongly positive effect on my mood. It's undoubtedly affecting my energy in a positive way too. I suppose the danger would be to stop searching for connections with people who have bodies. That doesn't seem to be my problem but given the severe limitations I have to socializing at all (I spend most of the day preparing for a 1 hour dash to the store. Other reasons for getting out are difficult to justify. Friends visit occasionally. None of them are into even the most basic forms of healing touch with me.), imagination is the best I can do. Maybe I'll become the expert on imaginary Karezza for the physically and socially challenged! :-). Hopefully it'll lead to the physical approach some day.

Warmly,

"Arnold"

GAPS diet

Hi Marnia,

Yes, I started it in June 2012 and stopped in June 2013 as I was dealing with a major flare. These days I'm exploring Jini Thompson's approach (www.listentoyourgut.com) and seem to be having more luck. I fall back on what I learned as part of the GAPS approach occasionally. Unfortunately I got stuck at the very early stages of it and nothing myself or my Naturopath could do seemed to help me progress. Crohn's is a strange disease. It has many components to it. Diet certainly is one. I need something that can keep me nourished as I transform the biology of my gut and the structure of my mind. I've also a very fragile liver/kidney/lymph system which I'm currently working to heal. Jini's elemental shakes seem to help me maintain a solid foundation as I work on the rest.

Thanks for the link. It's always good to hear of approaches that are having some success. GAPS was the first approach I tried that pulled me out of a flare and got me off the Prednizone I was using to stop it. That in itself was a huge step in the right direction. First time in 12 years.

Sincerely,

"Arnold"

Experiments

Thanks for your concern Marnia,

Not so long ago I came across a website dedicated to people healing themselves of Crohn's and Colitis. It's kind of like an information sharing/support network. The site is only open to people with those illnesses so its a fairly safe place. In looking into what seems to work, it's a really mixed bag. About the only trend I see is that the medical model, although great in a crisis, isn't good at long term healing. Other than that its very much an individual path. So I keep exploring and experimenting. I'm lucky in that I have strong financial support from family and the website helps with social support. I'm pretty keen on Jini's approach. She is very strong in her position of "Listening to your gut" i.e. your own intuition. She's also very convinced of the emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects of healing. Most of the other approaches aren't so strong that way. I weathered a flare using her approach and am slowly getting stronger without having to fall back on previous medication. There is a wealth of approaches to healing described on her website and in her book. I think that slowly, slowly, I'll recover this way. She's also a good source of information in that she was diagnosed with a severe case of Crohn's in the mid 1980's and managed to heal herself (for all practical purposes (she still has a gut that is more sensitive to stress than the rest of her body but has been off meds and surgical approaches for many years now)). She's a good inspiration.

Thanks for the GAPS idea. It's a good approach. I'm glad I tried it.

Sincerely,

"Arnold"

Thanks Marnia

Yes, I feel like I'm onto something. My connection with my mother has changed a great deal as has my connection to myself. So the subtler aspects of healing seem to be turning around. I have a much more positive purpose to being on this earth than I used to. My body is slowly following the lead of these subtler aspects of my health. I suspect that will continue as long the key supports I now have in place remain available.

Thanks for your concern and support.

Sincerely,

"Arnold"

Moms

Hi Marnia,

Yes, I understand that quite vividly. Much of my youth was organized around trying to get the essential nurturing attention of a deeply traumatized mother who (on the surface) looked good. Even trickier was the cultural context that was deeply hostile to life and all things loving. Healing, for me, requires recognizing the wound and finding the source of that depth of love and nurturing within myself and from whatever source outside myself I can find (not an easy task).

I often find it very frustrating that we are generally quick to empathize with a woman's suffering and totally neglect the intense trauma that that causes for her son. Mother-son incest is a bomb which very few people, in my experience, want to admit exists, are willing to understand or work at healing. The challenging part is that it has deep cultural roots that are highly celebrated and very normal in our culture.

So, yes, mothers do suffer a great deal. They get blamed for things for which they were historically relatively powerless to do much about. This powerlessness has been changing for a while now. Men's ability to nurture themselves and each other has barely started. If we truly want to heal, we are going to have to take a careful look at how this mother-son dynamic happens and have the strength to work on solutions together. Otherwise we are going to have more people like me at the bottom of a lake or otherwise self-destructing and simply adding to the trauma that mothers endure. I do know of a fellow with a very similar history to my own who committed suicide. I've struggled with strong suicidal impulses myself many times.

I'm doing what I can to heal myself. My mother is helping me as much as she is able. I'm just starting to make healthy connections in my community. I have a couple of healthy on-line connections (this is one). My body is slowly coming around (It's alot of work). I would really like to see more interest and support for positive change at the level I deal with all the time. I often feel like I'm right at the cutting edge of change in an area that nobody wants to see.

Your 3 week non-sexual bonding idea sounds great. I'm still very interested in it. My very limited experience with it is very promising. Finding a partner is like pulling teeth. I look forward to the day when my immediate community shows more interest in approaches to healing like the ones you propose. I suppose, if I keep at it, they won't be able to avoid it.

Thanks for writing. It's always good to hear from you.

Sincerely,

"Arnold"