Love

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Submitted by Arnold on
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Hi y'all,

I came across an interesting quote about Love and thought I would share it.

It seems to me that Karezza is an effort made by two very intimate partners to help each other uncover the barriers to Love within themselves. It also seems to me that there are things I can do on my own particularly when a willing partner isn't available.

Much of the turmoil in my life (and believe me there has been lots of that) has its roots in a subtly and seriously disturbed mother-son connection in very early youth as well as adolescence. The background culture (being dominated by senior military personnel at the peak of the Cold War) was also seriously disturbed (and celebrated!) in an equally subtle yet powerful way. It's been extraordinarily difficult for me to meet people who share my interest in Truth and healing at the depth that is likely to work best for me. The search to find a social context (other than the odd professional) in which my most basic needs are even given any importance at all has been fruitless. I'm an adult male with the unmet needs of a newborn baby. I crave peace in a world that seems to celebrate war (I am including the "battle of the sexes" here. I see roots in our traditional marriage vows, the foundation of family). This isn't just an emotional longing. My body responds very strongly to the direction I take and the social contexts to which I expose myself. It has put me in hospital in the past.

Here's the quote:

"First, you love yourself. Then you love your neighbour, you love other human beings. And then you move beyond and you love existence. But the basis is you. So don't condemn yourself; don't reject yourself. Accept. The divine has taken abode in you." from Osho. 2009. Compassion. The Ultimate Flowering of Love. page 98.

It's good for me to remember this. It reminds me to lovingly mother myself. It reminds me to honour MY values (Consciousness, Truth, Love, Harmony, Freedom, Peace, Joy, Playfulness..) over family values. I have far more power over that than I do over anyone else. Not always an easy task in this crazy world of people and their culture that seems to generally (with the very rare exception) surround me.

I hope this post is of value to you too. It's been good for me to write it.

Sincerely,

"Arnold"

Comments

Hi Arnold

So are you pondering whether two people can consciously use karezza to heal their self-love issues? I have wondered that myself and I'm wondering if that's what you're getting at here.

I think insufficient self-love is a very common problem, and people with this problem tend to find themselves in victim / perpetrator type relationships. One person dealing with the issue by accepting less than they should; while the other though believing they're not worthy, assumes they'd better do unto others before it happens to them first.

Just continuing on with my own thought here, I think it could be used in this transformational way if both partners are truly committed to it. I remember reading in one blog, that a man said when he looks into his partner's eyes, if he stays in his head there is no effect. But if he comes from the heart as he does this, the effect is profound.

For me, this demonstrated just how aware you must be if you are healing through karezza. Other postings have mentioned flowing the love from your heart through your body and into to your touch with focused intention.

When two people choose to go on a path of transformation together, it takes honesty and courage to see it through. Sometimes one of the people gets scared and backs out. They'd rather go back to who they were because they realize they are going to have to rebalance all of their relationships. The people who've known you for years begin to struggle with you and try to pull you back to who you were.

I'm actually speaking from experience here, and I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. Sex played a part in my transformation, but so did simply getting to the heart of my own feelings about myself.

I'm sure you can tell, I really enjoyed your post :)
Good Luck!

Self-Love

Thanks Elira!,

I'm glad that you enjoyed my post.

[quote=Elira]So are you pondering whether two people can consciously use karezza to heal their self-love issues? I have wondered that myself and I'm wondering if that's what you're getting at here. [/quote]

I've thought in the past that people can heal self-love issues through careful use of Karezza. It seems that I am not part of that crowd at this point in time, however. It hurts to feel incapable of sharing this path with someone. I've been looking for many years and the best I've been able to do is a short 3 night experiment with a friend who shared my interest in healing. She found it too "serious" (her words) and so bailed out.

I think that my post is about finding a way to accept my situation rather than struggling to change it. It's also about honouring my search to find ways to uncover the barriers to Love within myself on my own. Maybe we can't heal our self-love issues through Karezza. I don't have enough experience with it to really know. Maybe the alone time I'm currently doing is absolutely essential. Perhaps that's what "Rebalancing" is all about. Honestly, I don't know.

[quote=Elira]I think insufficient self-love is a very common problem, and people with this problem tend to find themselves in victim / perpetrator type relationships. One person dealing with the issue by accepting less than they should; while the other though believing they're not worthy, assumes they'd better do unto others before it happens to them first.[/quote]

This is very interesting. I certainly know that dynamic very well, but never connected it to lack of self-love. Thanks for shedding some light on this for me. Smile

[quote=Elira]Just continuing on with my own thought here, I think it could be used in this transformational way if both partners are truly committed to it.[/quote]

I suppose the only person that I can truly affect is myself. My commitment to healing myself is strong. There are a couple of women who seem to have pretty obvious needs that I can help with. So I do that for them when I can. That's about as far as I can go in the absence of a clear conversation around the nature of our connection.

[quote=Elira]I remember reading in one blog, that a man said when he looks into his partner's eyes, if he stays in his head there is no effect. But if he comes from the heart as he does this, the effect is profound. [/quote]

I've experienced that man's intensity of connection when paying attention to my feelings. I had a startlingly intense connection with a bank teller once while doing a meditation technique that involved paying attention to feelings and sensations. It was a brief but precious glimpse.

Thanks for writing. I enjoyed your post too!

Sincerely,

Arnold