I reported last week that I was having really great, warm feelings of connection to my parter, feeling very close to her. And then this weekend, I go and have four orgasms.
Two days after that little binge, here's what I'm feeling:
- Irritation with my partner, impatience with her, not finding her nearly as attractive or feeling nearly as connected with her. Feelings some tension in our relationship
- HOCD thoughts have sprung back a bit, but still not all that bad, especially compared with a couple months ago.
- Inability to concentrate enough to sit down a read and relax. Watching too much TV. Spending too much time on the computer.
- Libido pretty much zero.
Mainly, it's my feelings towards my parter, and my mood in general, that's tanked. We cuddled a bit last night, and it seemed to bring some of the warm feelings back for awhile, but today I didn't get to see her.
In my previous relationships I would have seen these feelings as inherent truths and then questions my "real" feelings for my partner. Which led to a lot of breakups. Although, to be fair, those relationships are not nearly as good as the one I'm in right now.
I'm not going to make any conclusions here, just wanted to report how I am feeling. Which isn't so great at the moment, pretty "blah."