A week in...is this flatlining?

Submitted by ATL on
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Well I successfully made it a week without PMO or MO. Actually it has been 8 days. I did have sex with my girlfriend 5 days ago, no orgasms since then.

I feel somewhat numb, actually. I saw my girlfriend last night and had pretty much zero sex drive. Honestly, I have very little desire for anything sexual at this point, event PMO. In some ways that's nice I guess, but I want to get that feeling of desire back.

Low libido has been a problem of mine, off and on, for about 7 years. Just before the HOCD started. And my HOCD is flaring up again now too, it's hard to feel like you are attracted to women and not to men, when your sex drive is so low. Although I know the key to beating HOCD is accepting the possibility you might be attracted to men. That's been a very hard thing for me to do.

I also didn't sleep much last night, so I that probably isn't helping things.

So I am going to keep going, but I'm feeling pretty blah at the moment. I hope this part doesn't last too long.



It's typical

to go through some nasty lows before your brain rebalances. Meanwhile, don't believe any "messages" it's telling you about sexual attraction (or lack thereof). It's just looking for a buzz during a time when its not responsive to its usual pleasures.

Some people flatline for weeks, so do some things to regulate your mood (exercise, meditation, time in nature). And wait with confidence. The HOCD may get worse during the withdrawal period, as anxiety and cravings for intense stimulation often get worse for a while. It's just part of healing an addiction.

Can you find a 12 Step program? Or try one of these support sites:




Interesting you should

Interesting you should mention that, I had sex with my girlfriend tonight and after she left my house I definitely had that "chaser" effect. And now I can see that I've had it in the past too, where I feel like I need another orgasm not long after having sex.

I think trying Karezza is in our future. For the time being, tackling no PMO/MO is my focus, and I'm on my second week of that without any slip ups yet.

The worries and intrusive thoughts have died down a bit, although I can recognize that my HOCD is throwing all it can at me at the moment, the thoughts just aren't sticking that much. And I'm resisting the checking compulsion.



Sounds like you're doing really well. Learning to stay detached, observe...and if possible keep a sense of humor...is helpful. So is knowing the patterns to look for.