A Summary of our First 6 1/2 Months

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After we had settled into the nice room where we spent our 3 day honeymoon, we took turns slowly

"unwrapping" each other, kissing, and touching, and then we took a relaxing tub bath together.

After that we took turns touching and looking over each other's bodies in the natural light. I then told her

that she was very beautiful, and that her vagina and labia were also beautiful and looked like the petals

of a flower. This was a miracle because, when we had talked a week or two before we were married,

my beloved had voiced that she wanted us to make love under the covers and in the dark. I simply voiced

that I would like to make love openly and in the daylight or with the lights on. And then we prayed that we

would be brought into harmony on this question. Fast-forward to us walking into the room with our bags

with her walking ahead of me. We were both immediately pleased with everything about the room, and all

her reservations about me seeing her body, and us making love in the light, were swept away in an instant.

What a pivotal moment !!

When we first attempted intercourse, we used some walnut oil for lubrication and I was soft. My beloved

laid on the bed with her back flat and straight, and when I saw how low her vaginal entrance was, I

suggested that we try connecting with her legs straight up in the air. I was upright on my knees and moved

in close to her. By pressing her feet and calves against my chest and shoulders she was able to arch and

raise her bottom so that her vagina and my penis were in perfect alignment with each other. I then asked

her to part her "flower" for me as I slowly and gently and easily inserted just the head of my penis inside

her. With that first small step she had (on a scale of one to ten) level 5 pain in the entrance to her vagina. I

asked her to tell me if she wanted me to withdraw. She wanted to hang in there, and let our genitals talk to

each other, while we both remained perfectly still. Within 5 to 10 minutes the pain had diminished to about

3 and remained at that level, and after another 5 minutes or so I withdrew. We then spoke about what we

had learned, cuddled, put our chests together for a short time, and then had some light refreshments.

A couple of hours later we joined together again in the same way, but her initial pain this time was less,

and the duration of the pain was also slightly less. Later that evening we joined together in the scissors

position and fell asleep for a couple of hours. We were both very encouraged by the immediate, small

incremental improvements, and we felt that the more time that we had my penis in her vagina the sooner

our bodies would be completely at peace with each other.

Within 24 hours, (after joining together 5 or 6 times) I was able to enter her exactly like I did the first time

with her having only slight pain for a moment or two, and then no pain at all as long as I remained perfectly

still. She still had some slight pain or discomfort (a 1 or 2) if I moved at all inside her vagina. We had

absolutely no agenda, and I made sure in advance that my beloved did not feel under any pressure to

perform. I had assured her two or three times, (before we were married) that if we simply held each other

in our arms for our entire honeymoon because she was not ready or able to make love yet, that it would be

ok. That assurance helped her a lot. When we went home three days later, we were both very happy with

the progress we had made together, and the confidence in our future happiness that we had both gained.

The second night of our honeymoon we again fell asleep joined together in the scissors position. After an

hour or so, I woke up suddenly with her pulling violently away from me because of the very severe pain

from a firm erection I had inside her. Later the next morning, as we talked more about what had happened,

I had complete clarity that her severe vaginal pain was from her past, and was not from anything I had

done in the moment. My penis was simply responding to her female polarity when it became erect in her

vagina while we were both asleep. (I wasn't moving at all) At first she had a bit of trouble understanding

what was going on, (generally it's much easier to focus on and blame whatever is going on in the moment)

but she saw it more and more clearly that the pain was from her past as we talked and reasoned it out.

Our honeymoon consisted of four primary activities: lovemaking, taking nourishment, going for pleasant

walks in the surrounding area as we talked about what we were experiencing and learning, and sleep

whenever we wanted for however long or short we wanted. The first three days of our marriage was

everything that both of us wanted and hoped it would be. The motel we stayed at was within 10 miles of

home, nobody else knew where we were, and we were able to lock the world outside while we learned to

make love to each other in a safe, comfortable, and very pleasant environment. It will also be very easy to

return to the same motel and room on our anniversary if we choose.

After reading Diana Richardson's books we decided to always use the words "penis" and "vagina" when

referring to our sex organs because we can say either of those words 100 times in a row without it

sounding goofy. Once in a great while we will refer to my "wand of light" or her "sacred space", but most of

the time we use "penis" or "vagina". Once in a while my beloved will say "the vagina" when referring to

herself instead of "my vagina" and I'll reply with "Who's vagina are we talking about?", she'll correct herself

and refer to "her vagina", and we'll have a good chuckle between us.

Before marriage, we had hours and hours of spooning with her legs resting on mine. It was pure bliss for

both of us. We still enjoy spooning because we have so much positive history with it, but I did not really

think much about spooning with intercourse because for the first 2 or 3 months virtually all my entries were

soft. (and I thought - mistakenly - that rear entry while spooning was impossible, or next to impossible,

without a firm erection).

One morning 2 or 3 months ago, I woke up with a partial or full erection, my beloved was lubricated from

our earlier lovemaking, I asked her if we could join together, she placed "the little man with the helmet on"

at her entrance, and with very little effort I was "in". I was (and still am) absolutely amazed at how easy it

was (and is) for us to "plug in" this way. I've also been totally amazed by how much pleasure is possible for

both of us without me having a full erection, and also how easy it is for my soft or semi-soft penis to slide

around in her lubricated vagina.

We are both completely relaxed while spooning, and the sensations from our slow gentle movements and

pauses are amazing. If one of us wakes at 4-4:30am, we will often turn toward and gently wake the other,

and put our chests together for a short time to wake up our polarities, we'll fall asleep this way, I'll wake up

with an erection, and then she'll turn back over on her other side, and we'll join together as spoons. On a

few different mornings I have had just the very start of an erection, my beloved has placed the head of my

penis right at her entrance, I made a little flick with my hips, and I was "in". While we are joined, I will often

move my free hand slowly all over her body with feather-light touch and it really helps her energy to move

freely all over her body. I know from previous experience that regular rear entry sex can very quickly lead

to orgasm. When we spoon I do have to use more discipline to resist the old impulses to thrust, and more

discipline and focus to keep moving my energy up frequently, in order to not get too close to orgasm -- but

the benefits we both enjoy with this very satisfying position make it well worth any extra effort.

The pain and trauma that my beloved has stored in her body generally and especially in her vagina (much

of it for decades) is now being released and healed by our gentle lovemaking. 30 years ago she spent a

few hours of her honeymoon in the emergency room due to severe pain. (possibly semen allergy, or

honeymoon cystitis, mixed with some deep fears she had of the unknown about sex) She spent the better

part of two decades with a man who was often insensitive, ejaculated quickly, and fell off to sleep after he

was done, while she went and sat in a tub of warm water to relieve her pain. To try to cope, she would

stay late at work, do other things away from home, and let him have sex as infrequently as possible. She

was on tamoxifen for two years which caused her severe vaginal dryness and irritation. She once had a

medical device inserted in her vagina to take pictures of the walls of her vagina and she recalls clearly that

the pain associated with that procedure was "off the chart". (level 10 or over) The medical assistant

commented that that was not "normal" for her to be in that much pain, but didn't make any suggestion of

where to seek help.

Before we met it was painful for her to even touch herself on any part of her vagina or labia. Bathing with

warm water alone produced level 5 pain, and the pain was increased to level 6-8 with a quality hand-made

soap. She remembered that at some point after we started spooning without intercourse (during our 2 year

long courtship), her pain while bathing was reduced to level 3 pain with warm water alone, and the pain

was increased to level 4-5 with a quality hand-made soap. A month or so before we married, she propped

herself up-side-down against a wall and poured some walnut oil into her vagina because we planned to use

that as a lubricant on our honeymoon -- it felt very good to her and she had NO negative reaction. As her

vaginal pain has lessened during lovemaking, it has likewise lessened during bathing when she touches

her vagina and labia. She now has NO pain in bathing or lovemaking and lovemaking is more and more

pleasurable to her. And I am becoming more and more sensitive in my penis and I can often sense her

mood and/or energy level from the vibrations I receive from her vagina.

My beloved has told me that when we spoon, if I gently move once or twice, and then remain still, that she

has bursts of energy from her vagina that travel all over her body. This is now happening to the lady who

had faith in me and my tenderness 6 1/2 short months ago, and pushed through her level 5 pain so that

together we could help each other, step by step, get to where we are today.

I have ejaculated 7 or 8 times since our wedding - none of them were intentional. We made love every

day for 5 weeks before my first inadvertent ejaculation. I have only ejaculated twice inside my beloved's

vagina. The first time she had NO noticable reaction, the second time she had a slight burning sensation in

her vaginal area, and her focus and energy level that day was less than usual. So we are especially

thankful for a knowledge of Karezza.

My darling wife, the woman who has been through all of the above, is the same woman who now frequently

asks me for PIV and asks if I am going to bed with her so we can fall asleep joined together in the scissors

position. It is always a pleasure to respond to her lovemaking requests. She just as eagerly responds to

mine. We remain open in heart and mind to whatever the future holds for us on our karezza journey

together.

Topic:

Comments

Thanks emerson

for your kind words. We are both very thankful to have a second chance with each other, and to understand karezza so that we can keep the happiness. May your journey also be blessed with much happiness.

:-)

What a lovely way to start your marriage~~you two sound like you are perfectly made for each other.

I can understand her requesting PIV, etc.~~sometimes I feel like I cannot get enough of him~~most of the time he gives me space and allows me to come to him (which is all the time). I think he loves this feeling of being so wanted and it's such a turn-around compared to most male/female relationships. As a woman, it feels so good to always be ready and willing and able and in the mood.

Hope you all many, many beautiful years together!

Thanks Rachel

for your kind words, for sharing your perspective of karezza as a woman, and for your enthusiastic wishes for our happiness. Karezza really is a win-win proposition for both women and men. I love not having to chase after sex anymore, and it feels great being able to make love without adding any kind of burden to my beloved.

May you, and your very fortunate man, also have many, many beautiful years together.

*big smile*

I'm really happy for you both.

Masterful turn-around. That's what I call good piloting!

I'm curious. Did you notice any ripples after your ejaculations?

Thanks Marnia

for your complements. We wouldn't be this far along without your selfless efforts.

After one or two of my ejaculations I felt a touch off balance, but the rest of the times I didn't notice much of anything at all -- either physically or emotionally. And each time I've tried to be especially open to and aware of any symptoms at all that I might see.

I think the main reason for very few ripples of any duration is because, after each ejaculation, to whatever degree possible, I have worked (with my darling wife) toward immediately minimizing the effects.

For example, one of my ejaculations happened on a work day about an hour before the alarm was due to go off. I went and washed up, came right back to bed, and put my chest together with my beloved's chest for 20 to 30 minutes and I could feel my energy and emotions come back into balance enough that I had an uneventful day at work and happy evening at home. When I had another ejaculation on a weekend morning, I went in and washed up, came right back to bed, and joined together scissors with my beloved until I felt better. We made love again later that day, and again early the next morning, and within 24 hours of the ejaculation I felt absolutely 100% and on top of the world physically and emotionally.

I also take the best male nutritional supplement that I'm aware of, to minimize the work my body has to do to replace and assimilate the nutrients I've lost in the ejaculation.

I think my beloved's support and acceptance of my not trying to ejaculate is important. Her love, support, and acceptance in helping me to come back into balance after an ejaculation also seems to make a big difference for me.

I would be happy to go the rest of my life without an ejaculation. But if I inadvertantly have one, I will use the tools I have to minimize the damage and get back to balance.

I like the analogy of the fire extinguisher beside the cook stove -- you hope you never have to use it, but if you do, it's there to help minimize any potential damage.

So wise

I think you are instinctively doing what you need to do to return to balance and that is so wonderful to hear.

Thank you for your words!

Thanks for this

I also wonder if your consistency for the past several years has made the return to balance easier. It may be that the more balanced you are to start with the more easily you return to balance after a "blip" on the screen.

I really like hearing everyone's experience and wisdom. There's a lot to learn.

I agree, Marnia

I think the fact that my beloved and I have immersed ourselves in touch and karezza for
the last 2 1/2 years may be an important part in my easily returning to balance. I think
there must be some mechanism of body memory or cellular memory that's at work here.
If you or Gary ever come across any good research in this area, I'd love to read it.