Better than abstaining.

Submitted by breath on
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Better than abstaining - Replacing.

For Better or Worse - a treasure if you have that in a relationship.

While I agree with those who vow... absolutely NO tolerance for porn, not even the smallest thought..."
.... RESPECTFULLY, i must say that that is not a FULL solution.

Yes of course, you can disallow - but you may still have thoughts/impulses of porn!

That's OK. Just don't give it weight. Don't beat yourself up. Have some compassion for yourself man.

In my opinion the most important thing is:
AN ALTERNATIVE WHICH YOU DO WHOLE HEARTEDLY !

What's worked in my case is that I've replaced porn with the daily effort (not actually an effort) to notice my wife, as much as possible. Likewise if I am struck by a nice looking woman jogging on the street, I don't beat myself up for getting distracted, but I don't fuel the fantasy - I trump it by imagining my wife. honestly after a few days of this my wife becomes the biggest and healthiest sexual obsession. Yes, if I walked by a computer with porn I'd flinch - but I'd never trade a lonely life of edging to porn for the fun sex that I now look fwd to. I notice my wife differently now, and after 16 dry years the choice is obvious and the anty high enough i won't relapse. Notice what's real in fron of you. Her scent, her mood everything. it's not as screamingly loud and sugary as porn but WAY richer, and has turned my ED around (yay). Let's say she treats you real mean one day - again, how lucky you are... a real woman, an real problem. not rocket science if you don't make it that.. deal calmly, honestly, courageously, with what confronts you. what reaction you get from her - you can't control. but you know you've put your heart into it and that feels great. in my case (and i suspect for potentially others) the result is nothing short of what I would have called a miracle - now I call it a case of me being... never to old to grow.

Comments

Hey great idea!

Except I'm not married. That's ok though the concept has worked for me in the past and I used it "face and replace" porn urges with positive alternatives. Taking a long walk, going to the gym, playing guitar, these are a few that I use.