Tomorrow I was supposed to meet the girl for whom I have feelings again... after two months and a half... it won't be possible. She has just sent me an e-mail in which she says that she is extremely busy and she won't make it. She has to work a lot now but I also think that the rest of the time is spent in her new relationship. She was studying to finish a master and she has confessed that she is well below the schedule she had planned and, probably, the master will suffer because of it (this is something which has happened in her studies a lot of times before).
Ok, so perhaps this question is a bit more orientated to the girls around here but I would like to know what are your thoughts on this popular and sex charged trilogy. I haven't read it but the girl for whom I have feelings for read it last summer and she is completely fascinated by the Grey character. Before she was fascinated by Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (she is a bookworm and for me this is a complete turn on) but I have the feeling that since she read that book she has been wishing for a Grey in her life (it's been three years since her last relationship).
Ok, perhaps this is a crazy question but I want to explain what happened to me last night. If you have read my previous entries I am in a global process of change, not just kicking out my porn habit but something even deeper regarding how I interact with the others and how I live my life in order to get rid of my phobia of relationships which has kept me alone during a lot of years (I'm 37 now...) As we all sadly know we suffer from relapses now and then and I suffered one yesterday.
It's been two whole weeks since my last blog entry and there have been some changes... for the better :) Now this entry won't be as gloomy as the last one.
I don't know if it is a good idea to post now or not but I feel really down and I just need to talk and perhaps calm down and heal a bit by doing so.
I still have no confirmation that the girl for whom I feel a lot has got a new relationship or not but things seem to strongly indicate that she has found someone new. I've been trapped in a wall of anxiety during one whole year and now that I'm probably seeing her go I feel miserable that I couldn't get the chance to tell her my feelings because I could not even feel them, I was trapped.
Hello fellow warriors,
I stumbled upon this page a couple of years ago in a period of deep personal turmoil and I discovered the reason why a lot of things (mainly love) were going wrong in my life. I read the magnificent "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" and the inner search that I was trying to do up to that moment (which was in a complete mess) began to clarify and I began to see a path out of my turmoil.