Days 11 - 20

Submitted by bw2011 on
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Day 11 started on the 4th of June.
By this time in my reboot, I started off feeling really unproductive and just in need of sleep but by the end of this lot of 10 days, the productivity really stepped up. Sleep somewhat improved, particularly mornings. I felt more relaxed. Still incredibly tired and generally depressed but hard some hard determination in me to keep fighting off thoughts and tensions.

I hadn't really exercised much over the last 20 days. The anxiety and stress actually made this worse. Stress tends to screw up my breathing rate. So I took up some deeper breathing practice to relieve these feelings and it seemed to help.

Overall though, I wanted to see emotional and perception changes in my thoughts and desires. This was more spiritual so I decided to look into and practice a more definitive, moral way of seeing things and behaving. This gave me the determination I needed. I won't preach but it is likely the most significant contributor to my progress.

The most unusual symptoms during withdrawal were painful, dry nocturnal erections without any sexual stimulation. These lasted hours it seemed. They wouldn't go down. They wouldn't tolerate any stimulation in view of the ache along the shaft. The corpus cavernosum felt really, really hard - to the point of bursting. The glans often felt soft, I could feel the hardness of the corpus as I pushed on the jelly-like glans. A hideous feeling. Pelvic floor muscles felt really weak too.

These altered states of erection not only felt extremely uncomfortable but I couldn't understand why.
I checked up on state of hormones via a blood test - such as testosterone, LH, FSH among others - and everything came back normal.
I will revert with the doctor to rule out any nerve damage or blood vessel congestion associated with priapism. I hope it's not such a thing.
Erection quality is affecting the self-esteem though and hope for the future - I've read some unfortunate outcomes for delayed treatment for things like priapism, if it is such. I am certain to follow this up over the next couple of days. There is some genital and general pelvic numbness or lack of sensitivity.

Nocturnal erections are bizarre but around Day 18 I did have a couple of pretty satisfying, fat, plump and full erections with a well rounded sense of pleasure. Of which one in particular was pumped up to full strength by the PC muscles in four contractions.

Ultimately though, I'm glad I'm not a slave to porn or masturbation or demoralising thoughts. That I can focus on the things I've always wanted to achieve in life. Depressive states are subsiding, stress can heighten at times but it doesn't result in persistent need to orgasm to relieve it.

At the end of 20 days, I need to see more progress, mentally and physically and in other areas of life but I'm satisfied I've made it this far without relapse and confident I'll not only get through but won't go back to pornography or masturbation.

Comments

it's a bit of both. more

it's a bit of both. more often than not they've got some degree of pain but tend to be returning to normal.
i've found relaxing pelvic muscles helps things.
but yes, i am questioning the doctor on nerve/blood vessels. previous test included hormone levels etc. - all normal.