Despite the long blog post I had yesterday the rest of the day was really good. Went out to eat, hung out with friends, drove, and went to bed. This morning I started to have depressing thoughts again about suicide and about my orientation I started to have them when I was walking my dog and I just used the Red "X" technique to block these thoughts and switch my attention to something else. I'll have to continue working on this list of girls that I could possibly talk to. Since me and my ex broke up we've talked everyday for about a year now its like we have a brother/sister type of relationship but I think this may be hindering me in finding another relationship and moving on completely. I'll update later on about the rest of the day.