Must've miscounted because my counter says day 192, But today was good for the most part, had a pretty good work day. But at work today one of my good friends told me that one of the fellow cadets the really quiet shy guy asked him was I gay. And when that happened my heart like sunk into stomach and my heart started to beat faster.He was like "hey, is he gay you know cause like the way he talks and stuff?". When he told me that I just got mad and in my head I am like I want to fight this kid. I didn't confront him though or fight him. Not worth a write up or getting fired.I then thought like why does this piss me off so much? Well mainly because I dealt with this my entire life literally. My older brother was really hard on me about the way I acted and I got I dont want to say bullied but kind of name called at for it.It's like a fat kid, the more and more you keep getting called fat the more you start to believe it and the more it hurts. Same here, I've already been about to fight this guy around the corner twice already for trying to get loud with me. So I'm just ready. Plus on top of all of this porn crap ive been through in that past almost two years that's the last thing I want to hear right now. And on top of that I dont know what the hell I am and wont really know until my brain is back in balance.It's just too much to deal with at one time. Anyways, I get home and my brain's feeling kind of foggy right now ill do a cold shower today before bed and try to exercise to get my mind off of things.