I realized the other day that it had been three months since I'd had an orgasm. I thought back to my life as it was three months ago and was stunned. So much I take for granted now is really so new. I've had an enormous spiritual growth spurt. I've started attending sweat lodge regularly and am living a much more sober, purposeful life.
I remember that when I first saw this website, my initial thought was "it's possible to just stop having orgasms?" And my second thought was "I wonder if this will finally make a nonmonogamous lifestyle possible for me?" And sure enough, I feel emotionally stable and secure enough in my social network that my entire romantic landscape has shifted.
So much data collected. A new lover is having a hard time going 14 days without orgasm and we feel out of synch sexually. He wants to try this experiment, feels that he has been waiting to make this change for a long time. He notices that sleeping with someone helps him not masturbate to orgasm. So he is sleeping with another woman and trying to practice not having orgasms the best he can as a transition, and continuing to have sex with her. I feel enormously relieved to be able to focus exclusively on non genital oriented intimate activities with him. So yeah. My perspective has definitely shifted profoundly.
So all's well. This vow of chastity thing is really working out for me. One question I've been pondering is whether my sexuality, like so many other aspects of my life, will fall into a seasonal pattern. Lent, Beltane. Maybe there's a season for all things. Maybe my sexuality has been analogous to eating summer fruit all year round and is now in a phase of early spring fasting that is likewise inappropriate all year? We shall see. Live and learn.