So this morning when i woke up, I was lying in bed and dozed off although it was like i was still awake sort of.
Anyway while this happened I had a surreal experience and i just saw me searching this porn site and then i clicked a video and started masterbating.
A few seconds in to the video I woke up out of it, I was glad to wake up to find that I hadn't looked at porn in the physical world, but it was a bit scary to have those things run through my head whilst i dozed off. Has made me feel that this problem is worse than i've been thinking it is, and that I don't know if I can ever rid myself of wanting to watch it again.
It's almost like having to give up going out and getting drunk and partying with friends again. Except it's obviously different because that's sharing a connection with real people.
AS usual I'm over-analysing probably because I just want to come up with a reason to watch porn, but I just can't do it. I can't watch it. I have to stay away.
I give thanks for this website, for providing a format to help battle this.