I had sex for the first time about a week and a half ago - just short of my 30th birthday. The guy im with is a really good guy. He treats me well and we laugh ALOT together.
i just began a three month accelerated course in computer languages a few days ago. I'm finding it so challenging. its brining up so much primitive emotion. it feels like I'm in a foreign land at times .
I was here laying on my bed staring into space when a little voice in my head said to check in here and give an update on my life
Can't sleep, so I'm up doing affirmations in the mirror. Maybe my inner child is craving attention and that's what I have so much energy at night
the topic of shame had been on my mind
I think I need to address this
I just got back from a two week mindfullness retreat in France not to long ago
It was wonderfull. Uncomfortable at times on an emotional level, but I'm so happy I went
I made an attempt to reach out to a therapist today. We spoke briefly, and she said she'll return my call later
I'm gonna try my best to seek support.
I think If I keep waiting and hoping and trying to work on myself nothing is really going to change in the relationship department.
Would anybody be willing to be an accountability partner, or is there anybody who is in need of an accountability partner.
When a craving for dopamine stimulation hits lately my motivation goes out the window and I just give in. In that moment, I want the chocolate, or orgasm or fantasy and good intentions go completely out the window.
I feel like its come to the point where I don't have a strong enough incentive for not engaging in pmo. It frustrates me that I don't have the resolve and I feel like sh@t when I give in.
Lets just say that I'm in the middle of a full blown relapse between eating and pmo
I hate to keep showing up with bad news...but I feel like its more an attempts to be honest with myself and see myself more clearly
How does one come to a place of truly feeling and knowing they are truly lovable. Suggestions?