64 days, nearly at my first target

Submitted by Diceman on
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The first target I set myself was 70 days, at this point I told myself I would make a real effort to start dating and I'm nearly there. The changes between day 30 and now don't seem much different. I'm still getting the benefits but they are neither better or worse. My libido is steady, like a normal pesron I imagine.

The time I really notice a difference is when I am near a woman I find attractive. Rather than being nervous I feel drawn to them , really want to be with them and make an effort to connect. I talked to a girl at the bus stop last week and when I stopped and started checking my phone she came very close, clearly wanting to carry on the conversation, that was a new experience or me. I'm going to need to start putting myself in positions where the chance of meeting a mate is possible, but I don't want to slip into old ways of going to pubs and clubs every weekend.

I feel a bit aimless at the moment, like I just don't know what I want from life. I've read numerous self help books and they all state how important having a goal is but when I sit down an try and put on paper what I want my mind is just blank. How can it be at 33 year old that I don't have any clear goals?! Until I have one I don't think I'll ever be motivated in life. Giving up PMO is the first thing outside of sport I can say I have achieved and was something I had to fight for. I've got a degree and a-levels but I just cruised through doing the bare minimum, and that could just about sum up every aspect of my life. Do you think it would be worth seeing a life coach?

Anyway, this post may seem a bit down but things are ok, it's maybe only now that my anxiety, depression and PMO habit are so under control that I'm able to look to shaping my future.

Sorry for posting on here Marnia, I just feel that seeing as I started this journey here I'd sort of like to continue it. I will move over to the other board.



Something I read recently in

Something I read recently in Daniel Pink's book "Drive": when it comes to goal-setting, it is helpful to have some concrete, measurable, "hit it or miss it" goals, such as saving a specific amount of money, or running a race below a certain time etc. but also to have goals that are related to mastery of a skill, a knowledge domain or developing a new aspect of you life; e.g. learn how to have a conversation in a foreign language, learn about a particular topic, contribute time to a charitable cause. The pay-off for these activities may be longer term, and may not be as obvious as hitting a measurable goal, but apparently people derive more satisfaction from these sorts of goals. This blog post mentions the phenomenon.