My life is steadily improving, to the point where my surroundings are stimulating me in novel ways and I'm feeling ever balanced, productive, and as though I'm living in a sustainable way. However, I'm having a little trouble maintaining a smile when I think about the predicament I am undeniably in, having had a complete falling out of sexual activity with partners. I am not going to change my circumstances overnight, and there are signs that no-Porn is a thoroughly auspicious undertaking, but I just can't suppress the sexual urges I get sometimes. For example, there is a sex-bomb blonde at the gym who always jogs in a sports bra and short spandex shorts, and guys are constantly getting on the treadmills next to her, trying to talk to her, and getting shot down. I have smartly avoided this fate, but I can't stop staring at her ass. Today during a yoga/pilates class, I went to the back of the room a few times and I couldn't stop checking out her ass through the window, quietly muttering "God DAMN!" to myself as I ogled her slender, chiseled physique and her tight, round little ass. It is not her fault that she is so sexy, but I almost feel like it is a test for me to see how unattached to physical objects (including women's bodies) I can be in this period of spiritual growth. So far, I seem to be more attached than I realized.