I have been trying hard to stay away from P and I think the girls are beginning to notice. For the first time in many years a girl actually asked me to go with her to a dance! I'm not interested in her that way so respectfully declined.
I'm still trying to get my head around how the whole dating system works. I spent my teenage years playing computer games and watching P so I feel like I've missed out on that whole episode of my life. I want to be able to have fun with girls that want to have fun, but not lead on anyone that wants to get romantically involved if I'm not interested. Knowing what to say at the right moment is also a bit daunting.
There is a girl I want to ask out and I'm a bit nervous about it. I take time to get to know people and don't actually come across many girls that I get excited about. The first time I met this girl she had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. Whether this is connected or not I don't know, but when I gave in to PMO she went cold and I couldn't see the beauty in her eyes, they looked like every other girls. Now I've removed the P as well as the MO her eyes look stunning again. Well, when I see her next week I will ask her out as long as I'm still getting positive signals from her.
What I've noticed is how hard it is to get away from P. I was reading the local newspaper and had to skim past at least three hot girls wearing hardly anything. Probably if my brain had rebooted it wouldn't matter so much but right now I really want to watch out for any Dopamine spikes.
Day 36: Mon
I'm feeling much more creative today. I designed a logo for my business, posted some articles and did a 30 minute workout. Feeling good.
Day 37: Tue
There were no cravings today. I was just busy doing my work and I'm over my flu enough to go back to dancing :)
Day 38: Wed
I have to say that with all the dancing the need for P is slowly fading away. Tonight was a slow, sensual dance where we held hands palm to palm and rocked side to side for about an hour. I felt a little insecure at first but after I relaxed it was sooooo nice and that was just practice. The girls where talkative and made it fun as well. I can't imagine what it's like to do that with a girl I'm actually in love with.
Day 39 & 40: Thur & Fri
The last two days have been ok. Some slight craving for P but mostly just a longing for someone to cuddle with.
Day 41: Sat
I'm finding it hard to focus and find my mind wandering into fantasies quite often. I can't even read a single page of a book without daydreaming about what it would be like to be with a girl. I suppose this is my minds way of coping without PMO.