Day 1

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Submitted by DopamineDuster on
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Ok. New day, new start.

I'm new here. I'm struggling with a PMO addiction for a long time now. I can't stay PMO free for a long time. Never got over 10 days in the past 2 years. 3 years ago i achieved 60 days.

So ok, i'm 21y.o. and still a student. At home most of the time, to study. But PMO is making me depressed, and the withdrawal is making me anxious each time, so i've dropped out of my past two exams. I need to be PMO-free, before i can continue with my life. It's a priority.
I know that i'm very prone for addictions, and i've beaten my binge-drinking addiction for 3 months now (woohoo!).

But ok, PMO keeps me in trouble. Relapsed yesterday after a 9 day no-PMO. Experiencing brain fog now, and dumbness. The first 6 days of my no-PMO period, i experienced severe anxiety, up to the point that i've started to cry.

I relapsed to SC porn, so ok, let's put it like this to keep me motivated:

I'm still HC porn-free, so i'm doing good. I know that cold turkey isn't something for me, because i know i need to change my behaviour. And when i do it to drastically, i dont really change my behaviour, but i supress it.

But ok, i'm still going to try. Only this time i'm going to try something new:

No P, but only MO.

I'm going to change myself slowly. But i don't want total abstinence for now (cfr. not going to quit cold turkey).
Just MO.

Second of all, i'm going to try not to MO when bored, but only when aroused.

Wish me luck, i will need it.

Comments

Welcome

Everyone would like to quit gradually. For some addicts, however, masturbation causes porn bingeing because of the chaser (Do You Need A Chaser After Sex?).

There's a group of guys on YOURBRAINREBALANCED.COM who are experimenting with keeping masturbation and trying to give up porn, so definitely check them out. There's also r/pornfree

When you masturbate, use sensation and lubricant only, no porn fantasy, or you're running the same loops in your brain and making them stronger. If you can't orgasm without porn fantasy...guess what? You don't really "need" to masturbate. It's not your real libido talking, it's your addiction. And scratching the itch will not satisfy you anyway. Sexual Fantasy: The More You Scratch the More You Itch

Also, I really liked what this guy had to say, although he is older than you. He used a gradual approach at the beginning and then shifted into no PMO.  http://yourbrainonporn.com/age-32-information-rich-creative-approach-90-.... He has a whole blog of interesting things to say.

I'm sorry you're having such severe symptoms, but in the end you may be glad that you had to clean this up now. You may want to consider getting some support in person too...just for a little while. It can really help.

Finally, this technique may also help you balance your brain. Cold Showers

I'm not sure what you mean by "suppress," but I want to say that the purpose of stopping is to give your brain a rest from overstimulation. That will always feel like "suppression." But unless guilt is your motivation and you have some rigid ultimate goal of absolute abstinence, temporary no-PMO is not "suppression." It's simply meeting the demands of the problem before you. Many things you will want to accomplish in life will require temporary suppression of your impulses of one kind or another.

PS

Well done on kicking the drinking! Just shows that you can do this...however you have to go about it.

Thanks

Well Marnia,
First of all, thanks. This is a great initiative. Second of all, i'm planning to finish some months of no PMO, but only MO. I've tried very often to quit PMO, but this didn't work out. I'm trying to change my behaviour. I've noticed that when i quit something cold turkey, i'm more prone for a relapse, because i didn't changed my behaviour but i've just suppressed the feelings for a couple of weeks.

So this time i'm going for some months of no PMO, but only MO. I wonder why you say that i should quit MO also ? Because it's the P which is the problem, isn't MO a normal thing which everyone does? If i'm wrong, please correct me. I'm eager to learn more about my problem.

I didn't say that!

The two forums I mentioned are NOT about giving up masturbation. By all means try various approaches until you find what works for you.

I'm just not sure I see "suppression" the same way as you do - or maybe I just don't understand.

PS

"Normal" isn't necessarily the best guide for addicts. Most find that a period of abstinence is necessary to reset their brains before "normal" is an option. This article explains: Vibrators and Other Pleasures: When 'Moderation' Fails

That said, people are not all the same. If one thing isn't working, by all means try another.I-m so happy

BTW, not everyone masturbates. I just read a Dutch study that claims 25% of Dutch men (and many more Dutch women) never masturbate.http://www.ivo.nl/UserFiles/File/Publicaties/2011-09%20De%20Opwinding%20... (If that means "never have" I admit to being a bit skeptical *scratch_one-s_head*)

And there are tribes in Africa that don't masturbate at all: WEIRD Masturbation Habits