Day 74

Submitted by downOver on
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Relapse!! PM, but no O. Jesus, I can't believe that I didn't have the strength and self control. This time angry, I'm not disappointed, but I'm angry with my self. Been taking it out on people at work today. Not a good way to handle my own failures....

At least I didn't O, I din't binge and I the session only lasted for about 10 minutes or so. Then my rage hit hit me... I can be very harsh on myself. This time I deserved it.

Ok. I still won't reset any counting or think to much about it. I don't care if it's not according to the manual, that's how I'm planning to handle it.

Why did I relapse then?! I spent the weekend in Barcelona. Met a girl there (funny enough she where actually swedish). I where definitively struck by her beauty and cool style (I've always been attracted to rockers). Problem is that I where to "on" when I made my move. Way to obvious and she had to have thought that I where desperate. Anyhow she teased, basically in a cruel way (Actually not cool by her in any way). I guess I relapsed due to frustration and the rejection. OK, lets pick up the fight again!

Comments

That suckes dude.

But remember the saying, theres no mistakes or failures, only lessons. As i see it the days don't really matter, I'm not in this to get 90 or whatever number of days of no PMO, I'm in this to quit the shit and gain a higher level of respect for myself. So don't dwell on it just learn from the lesson and keep going.