the inevitable orgasm

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Submitted by emerson on
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I've been doing Karezza for awhile now but what happens occasionally is:

1. Things feel hotter than normal.

2. I don't feel nearly as much pleasure but I do feel very sexed up

3. I *know* I'm going to have an orgasm. Today I was in the midst and I thought, what should I do? I can stop, but that doesn't seem like fun (although it is an option)...I can slow down and stop and so forth...then continue...but that doesn't seem to work when I am feeling this way.

Anyway, the inevitable happened, it was of course fun, but not what I want.

Any ideas, suggestions or experiences?

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I'm of the mind of a "spring

I'm of the mind of a "spring cleaning" as well. I know that I can get into a space where I want no orgasms, period. Clearly the feeling of forgoing orgasm sure beats the conventional approach but I do think its easy to get into a particular mind set around orgasm and I know I can use some flexibility about it. I think its a bit of a guy thing to have rules about things like this.

Sometimes though I find my body needs the energy release that orgasm provides. Like it resets my body in some way. I find I get a little edgy when its time to let it happen.

If possible I like to coordinate my release with the onset of my partners menstruation. The taoist traditions believe the seamen has wonderful properties that the woman can benefit from. Something to consider provided the timing is right.

Really interesting

Emerson, I found your story very interesting. My wife and I have explored karezza more lately. But, we often get heated up. I think it is okay to let our body lead the way sometimes?

I do see the absolute benefits of no O intimacy. I have experienced these benefits and as I get away from my life long P addiction these benefits are all the more obvious.

I think having some O's with my wife as we play and have fun is pretty good because we both love each other. I like the variety of both O producing intimacy and the times we enjoy karezza. best of both world's

I want to thank you Emerson, you encouraged me to give karezza and a new mindset a try back 2 years ago. This has been a game changer along with my getting away from PMO.

It seems everyone here has

It seems everyone here has actually experienced the benefits and karezza for their particular body and relationship, and that seems to be the foundation for then deciding what to do about O. My husband and I combined them. We figured out the rhythm that worked just for us, and for us as individuals, which would not have worked for others.

Some people can't afford even one O or they're in a deep hole for many weeks. We were okay with it maybe 3 or 4 times a month even, as long as karezza and tons of affection were ongoing as part of our partnership. Never had a chance to try -- but could be had we been physically apart with no affection, then rushed together for O, perhaps there would have been an unwanted affect, and we would have adjusted next time we were apart.

Like one of you said, you love each other, so you're figuring out what works for your particular union. If an O produced something negative, you're committed enough to not dump the partner and run, but to stay the course and figure things out. Hurray for old-fashioned commitment and the value of true exploration.

Emerson, I, too, am curious as to what you mean by spring cleaning vs. winter.

Find a library

and check out Taoist Secrets of Love by Mantak Chia. It is one of many Daoist books that talk about "schedules." The ancient Chinese noticed that people had a more severe "hangover" from orgasm during some seasons compared with others. That may sound weird, but one theory (in medicine) about POIS (severe symptoms after orgasm) is that it messes with cytokines in the immune system. And, weirdly, many guys who give up porn after heavy use report a bout of "flu-like" symptoms during their recovery.

Apparently the endocrine system is very interconnected and sex hormones are implicated too. Much still to learn.

I also find that even one day apart

changes things.

And getting back together, I am much more likely to fall over the edge.

It's amazing and weird how I never noticed how profoundly my feelings for my partner change day to day. It's striking...

After awhile with no orgasm and together every day, they stabilize but still...very different each day.