lube problem - any ideas?

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Submitted by emerson on
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We've been going along quite well using lube. I was using MCT oil, but it irritated my penis. Then we moved to butter but I think my penis developed some irritation that is still going on and we can't use any lube at all that is oil-based.

I'm getting aloe vera gel today and will try that.

Any ideas are welcomed!



Alternative Approach

emerson, are you doing all you ought to on the good eating/exercise/sleep/stress reduction side of your life? A strong body reduces or even eliminates allergic reactions, in my experience. Just food for thought.

I now eat largely in the 80/10/10 Diet mode: e.g., six bananas, two oranges, and an apple for breakfast; a huge multicolored salad for lunch; and bean chili for dinner (my diversion from 80/10/10). I feel better than ever and am stronger than at anytime since age 18. For Karezza, we use grapeseed oil, and neither my wife nor I suffer irritation from it in our 5 1/2 years of use.

May glycerine or aloe vera work for you!

All oils are out

My penis is badly affected by the oils and hopefully things will return to normal.

Tried glycerin. It kind of burns my wife a little. I realize that it needs water added to it, so I’ll add a little.

Also will be experimenting with her taking a bit of vaginal DHEA, vitamin E and vitamin A with progesterone as that is supposed to be helpful.

Thank you for all your ideas and sharing your thoughts.

Rubbing D3

in vagina (it comes in little capsules) works for a friend of mine's vaginal pain. Doesn't sound like your wife's issue, but I mention it anyway, as someone else might find it useful. I can find the full description of her experience if anyone wants it. (PM is fine)

what seems to work...

buy glycerin. Mix with water, and apply to the penis. Still playing with the ratios. Glycerin by itself sucks water out of the vaginal lining and isn't good. With water, it's fine. Too much water and it isn't lubricating enough. But it isn't really that tricky and I mix and apply before intercourse.

Thank you for that suggestion @Aphrodites Chela.

The coconut oil or butter or MCT oil was fine until it wasn't. I really have kind of messed up my penis from it. Lost some sensitivity and I'm still trying to figure out how to heal there. I never expected that.

I had a similar experience

I had a similar experience where coconut and almond oils used to work, but then they became super irritating. KY jelly (the plain vanilla kind) has been comfortable for me.

I'm glad you are on the road to healing! My hippie side says: be careful how you talk about yourself! It's such a wonderful body part... it doesnt deserve to be told it's "messed up" and you're "working on it"...

I bet you can amplify the healing process with nurturing, affirming words and thoughts.

emerson, are you circumsized?

emerson, are you circumsized? I am, and had no idea that foreskin protected a mucosal layer on intact males. Maybe a long-term solution for lubrication is for ‘cut’ males is to regrow their foreskin. I think I am going to give it a try.

“...As the foreskin grows and begins to cover the glans, the glans and inner foreskin remnant start to return to their original mucosal state. That is, the glans and inner foreskin dekeratinize and take on the characteristics of the mucous membranes that they are...”

I learned of regrowing foreskin from this article:

Anybody here have experience with this?

Yes I am unfortunately

But I probably won’t go to a any  “Lengths” to regrow the snipped foreskin.

Probably a good idea though.

I’m sticking with water+glycerin and figuring out how to heal.


Greetings Emerson! Can

Greetings Emerson! Can certainly commiserate on this topic as wife has always had a sensitive "kitty" so anything that upsets the natural conditions in the vagina can trigger yeast infections. Have to avoid anything with glycerin, paraben, silicone, anything aggressively hydroscopic ( absorbs water), or anything that changes the PH balance. Even ejaculating inside her would reduce her natural acidity enough to often trigger yeast infections(hows that for a Karezza incentive?).

We spent years trying to find the perfect lube and have settled on pure unscented Aloe as our primary go to. We did successfully use Wet Naturals glycerin free paraben free formula for some years but they must have changed something in the ingredients because that sets her off now. Aloe Cadabra is a commercial brand that has an unscented Aloe product that works well for us that we know has no extra surprise ingredients. Very tempted to buy generic Aloe in bulk to save $$$ but have not found source with documented purity. Good luck!

Here is closure to my saga of the lube


We tried glycerin by my wife found it irritating after a month.

My penis finally healed. With a combination of treatments, not easy.

So now we are helping along with a concoction I made with progesterone, D3, vitamin A, she puts it in her vagina to help her lubrication hopefully.

And I am back to using a small amount of olive oil on my penis. I find the key is wiping and drying after intercourse. That seems to be fine and no problems at all.

I got penis problems

Abrasion or ulcerations, quite superficial, but they hurt. 

It was kind of awful but I just had faith that I’d fix it. Took about a year.

I’ve read of men who have had similar problems for decades. The doctors prescribe cortisone cream, which I wouldn’t have used, so I didn’t bother going to a doctor about it.

The solution after healing is to carefully wipe my penis dry after intercourse, and use as little oil as needed.