Karezza is working out great for both of us! We're approaching it as a set of guiding principles and improvising our way along. We're consciously performing lots of bonding behaviors and we see how it affects us positively on a primal, nurturing level.
Yesterday we flowed from alternating back massages to sensual connection to soothing genital massages to gentle intercourse. It was the first time we had an extended session where we were both knowingly applying Karezza in such a focused way. Once we become sexual I had a small bit of worrying as to whether what I was doing was enjoyable for her. As it turns out she loved everything. Even though neither of us had an orgasm we were both so relaxed after intercourse that we fell asleep nude with her resting her head on my chest.
Later that evening we had another bit of mild sensual play. That would not have happened if either of us had orgasmed earlier. I love how this style of relationship creates so much on-going affection and pleasure!
I'm especially seeing a big improvement in my neurochemical balance. I feel like I'm on an effective, yet natural, anti-depressant. Life seems more vibrant and alive. My head is clearer and my work is flowing better. I don't feel so driven anymore to stimulate myself and my improved understanding of the reward system is also guiding me to be gentle with myself.
I've been masturbating 2-4 times per week since my earliest memories. When I first stumbled across this work it sounded crazy to me to not pursue orgasms. I thought it would be a white-knuckles affair but now that I've stopped I feel relieved. It is clear I was flogging my poor sexual system like an overworked farm animal.
I'm solidly science-based and healthily skeptical so I don't say any of this lightly. I've struggled with cyclothymia, a milder but still serious form of bipolar, since my youth. I've used pharmaceuticals with varying degrees of success. I've also tried some herbals with zero success. What I'm experiencing is a pronounced, positive improvement in my outlook and mental functioning.
Cyclothymia sometimes goes away in middle age. This is wildly speculative but it does make me wonder if these reports are driven in part by some of these middle-aged people having fewer orgasms than in their youth. Cyclothymia is characterized by impaired ability to experience pleasure, fewer outright depressive episodes than other forms of bipolar, and a tendency toward hypomania. That sure sounds to my lay understanding like the results of an overworked reward system.