123 days still going

fcjl8's picture
Submitted by fcjl8 on
Printer-friendly version

I am now at 123 days and still maintaining no porn and no M as my lifestyle.

Is it easy, well yeas and no. It is very easy to avoid porn, I have no urge to seek out videos or images and am strong in my resolve to put this part of my life away for good. I hate what porn represents in our society, just the lowest of low sub human manipulation... Gee tell us what you really think about. I mean it really.

The hard part... I am flawed, I have rather large holes in myself, I am somewhat broken if you will. Putting the pieces back together as best as I can, one step at a time. I hit stresses and challenges daily and now do not have my masturbation and dopamine fix to blunt the raw edges of life. I must truly find another way now. And sometimes that new way is simple and easy other days I feel lonely and lost. But as long as I keep on moving I get by and through the rough spots.

I try to stay in a spirit of gratitude and loving, this can be hard at times, I forget and need reminders. But, if I stay present it is easier.

Regardless, I am so happy that I am not the man I was who hid (literally) and masturbated every time things got challenging.

fcjl8

Comments

Stress definitely makes cravings worse

It pays to have some substitutes at the ready. Alas, most require more effort than clicking to a new screen. Wink It's not easy to get up and go take a walk, for example. But guys here have suggested many ideas: ♦Solo Tools You might find some good ones for you there.

Years ago, I found that I could also shift my mood by pulling, say, three of my favorite books off the shelf and opening them at random and glancing at the first paragraph that caught my eye. Just the exercise itself seemed to snap my brain out of its rut and shifted my perception of my distress.

I'm really proud of you. We all have "holes." It's a hole-y planet.

lately I am finding cold showers...

very helpful. I never did these before. I'm on day 6 or 7 and lasted 4 minutes today in an ice cold shower. It is extremely uplifting afterwards and improves my whole mood and I think makes everything much, much easier.

I think if you haven't considered it, you might want to give them a try for a few weeks. It takes that long to really get adjusted to them. But they can be amazing.

Always enjoy your reports. Thanks!

Thanks

Thank you Marnia and Emerson!!! Very much.

I have some soothing activity , such as very basic learning of the keyboards and some scripture. Then I will also jump on some exercise , cardio and lifting.

But the ideas behind the cold showers seems very worthy. Interesting, I never thought of "minor" stressors as something to actually seek.

We automatically try to avoid any and all stressors in our modern lives, this is really cool. I guess it is not too far off what a friend at YBR says... "find your fears and lean into them"

Learning... learning and learning, never too old to learn.

Bless you both.

Great stuff

This seems like great stuff. I am very interested in learning to face that which challenges and stresses me.

I used to go out of my way to play and compete in dangerous activities that I thought I was controlling, unfortunately my ego took over along the way.

This looks like an interesting way to challenge ourselves.