Working my 20th day

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Submitted by fcjl8 on
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Yes sir, working day 20, awesome, remembering all the great feelings I had on my last long reboot. Why did I slip after 160-180 days??? Not sure, overconfidence? Hhhmm...I like to be confident. Not sure that alone was the reason. I just thought one day, just briefly that I was "cured" whatever that means. I think I was thinking I deserve a "treat" or I need a "drug" , I truly don't remember. I thought I would just use a little porn, kind of scheduled , just once and a while, like normal guys do. Go won't hurt, you have mastered this. How can we go from being and feeling peace and freedom and so easily become ensnared? I now appreciate the reminders I get, this is a moment by moment, step by step process, freedom is gained one moment of NOW at a time , not by leaps.

I am writing and participating more at a great bunch of guys that Marnia pointed me at. Eternally grateful to Marnia and Gary.

Keep on, keeping on!


yes this is a key insight

The pathways for an addiction never leave our brains. A smoker can quit and 30 years later fall back in again. Same with porn. They are there for a lifetime.

The "I'll just do a little bit now, to reward myself" is very common as a thought the mind creates to relapse into any of these habits.

It pays to remember that the mind is coming up with this thought and thoughts are not to be believed.

It's always better to think "I have a long road ahead of me of porn free days" rather than "wow, I've strung together x days porn free this past number of months". The self-congratulatory mode frequently leads to relapse.

One thing to remember about porn is that it's just bad *for you*. Always and in every way. Those pathways are in your brain and for you it isn't safe, there is no such thing as "just a little." That's why I don't smoke any weed, even a little. For me, that is an addiction and same with other things.

Complete abstention is the important crucial thing for us who have had a problem with an addiction. For others, well they don't have that problem, but we do.



I agree Marnia, lots of great guys and advice and support,

and emerson you said it all man, "Our thoughts are not to be believed" Revisiting a lot of Eckhart Tolle lately, he warns not to believe the stuff our mind tells us, many "Masters" have made this caution.