dublife comeback

Submitted by firstcouple on
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I am dublife I forgot that account password and email and I made this account about 2 years ago when i started a relationship with a girl i met recently back then witch was 16 and heavy porn user , also a bisexual. I was rebooting and told her about it, we imediatly decide it to do it togheder but i broke up with he after a month becouse she was mad inlove with me after that short time and talked alot about having kids and stuff that I wasn't ready for also had feelings for ex girlfriend (the real reason i left the bi crazy girl) , I dumped her becouse she did not gived me any attention and got back with her becouse she called me one night and said she can't stand seeing me with another. This was the story of the accound I created 2 years ago now let me tell you about today.
I am a young 20 years old and found about brain rebalancing when I was 18 and had PIED and sometimes PE , I had a reboot were i went cold turkey for more then 70 days I saw many benefits, morning woods, random erections now and then during the day , I had succesful sex with my girlfriend . Trough my reboot i learned a few about karezza and the lifeforce you get if you don't O that much .

I disconnected from you guys and at a point I slipped and watched porn again. At first not that often maybe once twice a month, and didn't had problems with my erection anymore . This was at first, after a while I had many problema in my family, one of my parents had gambling in their blood and banckrupt the familly and made big debts at banks and not only. We are at the bindge of losing our house also broke up with that girl , I only have some girls i met now and then ,nothing serious.

All this strugels for a 20 years old kid led me into using porn few timea a week even daily again. When my parents had money I was a spoiled kid with no worries and now life hits me. At least I found out who my real friends are.

I am now 11 days of no PO, i M last night only to feel and little fantasy but i stoped fast.
I decided to get things straight and quit porn for good becouse it's making the situation even worst draining me all my energy I so much needit right now. I am here to share learn and help others .
There is only 1 thing i need to know right now, I want to start dating again not only sex now and then and I planned to stay away from everything at least 30 40 daya and then orgasm once two weeks or so, what is uour opinion on that?

Comments

Interesting situation

Let me just say first, welcome back. Secondly, while I cannot totally relate to the situation (as my situation is the complete opposite of yours cause I'm older than you (33 yrs) and I'm a virgin...whicn will change soon. Check out my post - about dating, sex and serious relationships.

and I judging from you girlfriend choices...I think we are probably different in personality too. but...

At the end of the day, we're men with male genitalia and we're all conditioned the wrong way. Porn Relapse you say? welcome to club my friend. For me its intense stress and feeling the need to isolate myself. I've read stories here about men that lasted 7 months and one slip and they're back then 2 weeks pass by without a slip and another slep and then now - it's everyday...back to where they stared. I have twice made past 30 days. once I pushed to 45, but - again intense stress and also people around me causing stress and bugging me and feeling the need to isolate make me relapse...

I have a cool thing I do - with visualization...I like foreign subtitled movies...with a good romance plot. I try to visualize an ideal situation where my life is more in order and I'm in positive situation around positive women..

as for the No-Fapping - I got some ideas to shake things up a bit and change my routine...so I can push and be consistent without relapsing..

have u heard about actor terry crews? he's wrote a book about himself and he's re-leaned how to stray away from his addiction and now he's on a better path to more intimiacy and soft touch with his wife...whereas before he was hiding and looking at porn - he claims he feels better about himself and more connected to his wife.

And so we just got to use what Gary and Marnia has taught us and try as best we can to apply it to our lives. from reading other peoples stories...it's all relative..everybody's situation, reasons, circumstances are drastically different from the rest including mine..

Have you read Marnia's cupid book? have u seen any of Gary's interviews youtube his first and last name along with porn addiction. you'll find some interesting interview vids.

But from what i gather - You're trying to stray away from porn unsuccessfully and u want to focus on orgasmic sex with dates but limit it to only alittle (twice a week) but and do some Karezza too with a new girlfriend? is that right?

Because ... I gotta keep it on the real. I see the brilliance of Slow Sex, Karezza and more intimacy but because of the way our society is today and because of the way we're we are all programmed from Porn, Movies, Erotica and from Mis-information

- what type of female who's in the 33 or younger demographic is open to slow intimate (orgasm-less) - tantra-like karezza style sex?

If the man is down for it then it takes a special type of lady to go along with it. somebody with a lot of patience. younger mature minded women like this exist - but creating a situation where we men who are open to this can attract someone like that (atleast for me) is gonna take some work.

Men put pressure on women too, but from the male side Women also expect us to perform and make them "feel good' and if we men can't do the job they'll find someone who can.

and dating? well..i guess dating is the experimental trial and error sex and attachment phase where people - see if they'll like each other...right so they go out, have dinner, do activities and possibly have some casual sex too?

me personally, sure I want sex, intimacy but - I actually don't like the idea of using somebody just for sex, even if its agreed upon. I just don't like it. maybe that's part of the reason why I'm a virgin.

..but what always happens is people (male and female) end up simply use each other for sex whether it's in a respectful or desrespectul way.

Anybody seen the new bond movie?, I loved it - it was entertaining but - I asked myself "why did I like it" - I mean Bond has a one night stand with the bad guy's girlfriend....and has a grin as he leaves...it entertaining, but to be honest..it's kinda messed up.

FYI

We put everything we know about porn recovery on www.yourbrainonporn.com. And there are numerous forums where your peers are supporting each other in recovery.

Two of my favorites are www.rebootnation.org and www.nofap.com.

Sorry to hear about your family's struggles. Hope things sort out. It's good that you're taking your recovery seriously because it gets harder to retrain your brain as you age.

Good luck. A few words of advice:  It usually helps to learn what's going on in your brain: http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

If you need a plan: http://yourbrainonporn.com/reboot_your_brain              ...

The things that help the most are exercise, meditation, time in nature, socializing and beneficial stressors like cold showers: http://yourbrainonporn.com/cold-showers

Also, if you're using Tinder and Instagram or fantasizing a lot, read this: http://yourbrainonporn.com/sexual-fantasy-the-more-you-scratch-the-more-...

Suggestion: if you do masturbate, no porn: http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-do-i-masturbate-without-porn