8 months in and triggers still strong

Submitted by fixme on
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I have been pretty sick the last few days and haven't slept well. Today I had absolutely no libido and my penis felt completely dead.
After class, I was just reading an online men's magazine and read an article about sex positions that prolong erections.
They had pictures of women/men in those positions. No body parts were exposed but even just seeing
those pictures made me really horny and I had an overwhelming desire to masturbate. I had no desire
to look at porn but really wanted to release.

I masturbated about 3 weeks ago but wanted to stop masturbation again altogether as I thought the masturbation schedule
was not helpful for recovery. On one hand, I am really happy to see that my libido can go from nothing to really horny
just by looking at static pictures, but I am surprised to see that I still have triggers like this after 8 months.
I'm happy to report that I didn't give into urged to masturbate. Do these trigger symptoms ever go away?
I felt as horny as a teenager looking at those pics (but no erection).

Comments

not sure the triggers ever lose their power

their power diminishes a great deal and maybe eventually they disappear but I doubt it. I think you have to be vigilant. I find they still have a bit of power over me. I can tell by my brain's reaction to it.

The major antidote to this, though, is a lot of non sexual touch with a partner. I have found this does wonders for eliminating my desire to masturbate and I haven't masturbated at all for five months and it's been very easy not to. The key is cuddle time. We also have a lot of non orgasmic sex, but I think it's the cuddle time especially that really kills the need/desire to masturbate and minimizes the effects of a potential trigger.

Unfortunately i don't have a

Unfortunately i don't have a steady partner so I'll have to figure something else out.
Has your libido become more consistent? I seem to go from absolutely no libido to
having some (below average?) libido on a weekly basis. I am almost never very horny, like during college years.
Ideally, I'd like to have some libido at all times, even if it's not really high. Still waiting for it to steady out

it's pretty consistent...

[quote=fixme]Unfortunately i don't have a steady partner so I'll have to figure something else out.
Has your libido become more consistent? I seem to go from absolutely no libido to
having some (below average?) libido on a weekly basis. I am almost never very horny, like during college years.
Ideally, I'd like to have some libido at all times, even if it's not really high. Still waiting for it to steady out[/quote]

It's quite consistent over time. But some days I don't feel like it as much as other days. But if I don't it's only for a day or so. I guess this is natural. I've tracked it on a spreadsheet over the past four months. I've noticed certain things that make it drop for a few days. Edging, which in my case is with my partner, brings it down for a few days, so now I avoid that.

But there is no more flatline, that is over and done with.

And I'm not horny. I have a strong sex drive. I can go at it every day even on a day when it's dropped a bit. But I don't have horny urgency anymore, pretty much ever. But then again, we have sex every few days (although non-orgasmic sex for me.)

I am older than you, but I have always had a strong sex drive.

What is your goal?

If it's to find a partner, are you doing things to connect with potential partners?

If it's to find balance, have you thought about what might be a good balance for you? See:
Are there any guidelines for healthy masturbation?
http://yourbrainonporn.com/are-there-any-guidelines-for-healthy-masturba...

Some guys can get by on wet dreams or circulation exercises (http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-solo-energy-practices), but other guys may need a schedule of occasional masturbation while they're without a partner.

Good luck sorting things out. Even if you can't find a partner, socializing can reduce cravings.

My goal is to have healthy

My goal is to have healthy enough erections for sex and then to get a partner. I have been dating but have not been able to find a steady partner.I have been dating a new girl for the past several months but we talked yesterday and she said she is not ready for a relationship.
I socialize a lot... go out to clubs/bars/social events like 5 days a week. I am finding it difficult to find a partner now because
my lack of erections is weighing so heavily on me. I am really uncomfortable/anxious getting into a sexual relationship as I have
not been able to have a good erection for 5 years. I've dated and tried sex with 4-5 girls (2 relationships) without success.

Ideally, I'd like to get some indication that my erections are back to healthy before I attempt to have sex. For example the ability to masturbate to full erection and maintain that erection without stimulation for several minutes. Right now, I can masturbate to erection without porn or porn fantasy but I still need constant stimulation. If I stop, it goes away with 10-20 seconds. I have read most (all?) of the pages at yourbrainonporn.com including "How you know you're recovered". It feels like I'm close but I still haven't been able to make the final step (regular libido with healthy erections). I tried the masturbation schedule but i felt that it was setting me back (like XPornhead), so I stopped.

I have been doing meditation and circulation exercises and also seeing a therapist/psychiatrist for performance anxiety. I was
prescribed ativan (basically xanax) for anxiety during sex. I tried it and it reduced anxiety a bit but I was still not able to maintain erection.
I have basically tried everything. I also exercise regularly and don't do drugs (except social drinking). I am starting to think that I will never fully make it and that I'll have to get a prothesis or start injecting my penis for erections.

That's discouraging

Thanks for reminding me of your story. I think you said you planned to give it a bit longer in light of "recovered's" experience.

I'm crossing my fingers and toes.
*big hug*