So, I've had 4 day 4s in the last 3 months. But I think there's progress. The withdrawals on day 4 have become less intense:
1st - Sat, 2012-01-14 16:15
"...I felt unmotivated all day - lethargic and lazy. It feels like my surroundings don't register with my brain. I can't recall names very well. I tried to go for a run, but I felt tired. I feel lazy. In regards to this girl I've seen a couple times - I've been questioning why she would ever want me/or whether she has changed her mind about me (even though she has done nothing to indicate that). I don't feel like watching porn - but then again, I don't feel like doing anything. It was difficult to write this post..."
"...Woke up feeling lathargic, unmotivated, brain-foggy (like I can't think clearly), low-self esteem, sensitive to what people say about me, feeling generally bad - and I think my penis died (flatlined). Also, annoyance....lots of it. with everyone..."
2nd 2012-03-08 12:27
"I had problems sleeping. No libido, and no interest in girls at all. The prospect of even having sex isn't appealing. I'm glad for this! I'd rather have a flatline than cravings."
"I've refocused my energy into getting my shit together. Women are no on the menu. I want to just hang out with friends and be productive, that's all."
"- improved mood
- can focus well
- sleep blows
- feel random attacks of lonliness, but this time with a desire to man up about it
- 0% interest in women and sex. I even saw a few nude images last night (I know, I know), and felt nothing about them. Nothing."
3rd 2012-03-19 11:51
"I've had a few day 4s already. But this one is good I think. I may be kind of weird for doing this, but this is something that shocked me out of the PMO binge. A girl I was seeing until recently is seeing someone else. We had been friends for a long time prior, but she handled the situation so badly that I now resent her. So, it's been fueling me to press on. I'm angry. So I now when I feel an urge, I check a status update on FB, and then get fueled to see this through. Call me weird, but it's working. She's moved on, and I had to shock myself into seeing it. The only way I can move on is to get passed the PMO. So yeah, day 4, going alright."
4th 2012-04-04 18:18
" I've learned to notice how it feels. It's so silly, this addiction. It's been days, and I still feel cravings. Ah well. Other than that, I feel socially anxious - I don't feel great, but I'm learning to stay positive."
"In other news, I'm going to make a real effort to go out and meet girls even though I don't want to or feel like it. I've used the PMO thing as a crutch lately. "
So, yeah progress. I think the learning/introspection is mostly over for me. I understand how I got here. Now, it's different. I'm just clocking in and staying focused.
EDIT: My very first 4th day had me clutching my blanket late at night, severely anxious. The cravings were bad. I didn't have an internet connection at home, and I had removed all porn from my computer. I ended up jerking it to a PG scene in The Graduate...talk about a druggie. It was all I had.