Today is ok. I'm sick, so I don't have much to report. I feel good - I have some work to do though. I had morning wood for the last two days (Like 65-85%). I'm feeling more sexual tension/energy. I have no desire to MO or watch porn. I'm still on the lookout. I'm still in a delicate place with this. I've been working out too. I noticed that I just get up and do things without really trying too hard. Before everything was effortful - reading a novel, learning a new song, etc. It's nice. I still spend too much time on the computer though. I need to get away. Mostly, I just use it to text people as I don't have a phone right now. If I had a phone I wouldn't need my computer. I don't read anything, watching anyting, etc. It's nearly useless.
I'm not freaking out about finding a job. I feel like it's an adventure! I'm not worried about living the "american lifestytle" - who cares! I just want to do what I want to do! I want to learn languages, travel and live abroad, all that. On my death bed, I will have little to regret. We'll see. But I feel so great!
Now, I just have to get my mind off the girl I'm falling deeply for and get active. I can't just be waiting around for her! I'm getting out and having a good time! Last night she was out of town. I felt a bit sidelined (i guess this is normal), but not in a bad way. So, I thought "Well, she's having a great time, so am I!" I went out to a bar by myself. I hung out and felt great. Waiting is bad because it leaves the mind to ponder too much! Anyway, I'm making some plans for her tonight and I'm super nervous! We'll see how it goes. Everyting I do now is so not about sex! I love it. It's great.
NP 34 NMO 24