Still struggling - tips for avoiding relapse

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Submitted by Goel on
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Just fucked it up again. I was feeling so many positive effects, and I'm starting a new job very soon. I wanted to be sharp, but now ...
Relapse didn't last very long though. Hopefully I can regain a good state pretty quick.

Posting my log, so you can see how I fare. It was in april 2011 I discovered my porn addiction, and I haven't been able to manage a long streak for a long time. THe record is 35 days, but that failiure kind of broke my will it seems. So any suggestions would be helpful. I plan to hide the memory brick with password for k9 at my locker at school, but I could still download movies at pirate bay and stuff. Will is key.

The log:

21 august - Day 1
22 august - Day 2
23 august - Day 3
24 august - Day 4
25 august - Day 5
26 august - Relapse (relatively short duration and small dopamine effect) Fantasy on forum triggered
Also small relapse later that night
5 days PMO free
27 august - Day 1 Relapse. Used Utorrent and fantasy on forum
So fantasy, including but not limited to forums, is the trigger. Trying again. This time, one week is the goal
28 august - Day 1 Relapse
Relapse happened due to exhaustion and anger due to job.
29 august - Day 1 drunk. edged just a little. Mastrubated to orgasm
PMO to picture. Ligth effect
30 august - Day 1
31 august - Day 2
Edging to pic of alizee. MO later
Edging to movie scenes
Edging to pics
MO in bed
1 september - Day 1
Mo while listening to music and fantasizing. Fantasy triggered, again. Was feeling heavy flatline
Mo while listening to music and fantasizing.
Mo while listening to music and looking at pic
2. september - Day 1
Brief relapse to porn, triggered by same song and fantasy
Relapse to picture compilation I made of a girl I know...
3. september. Heavy relapse to porn. Really, really heavy...
4. september. Porn free
5. september 2 x MO i bed
6. september. Porn free
7. september. 1 X MO in bed
Relapse late evening for no particular reason. Was reading brain on porn and suddenly got the impulse. Ruined everything. Lasted an hour or so.
Gotta be stronger. Don't know how to fight and win, truly. I'm gonna keep it together the rest of the weekend. Friday now. Monday I got a new job
Would have liked no brain fog then. Am also supposed to have sex with an ex. I ruined it for myself. Wasn't feeling tempted at all before that
impulse, which was related to music really. I thought I wanted to view a sexy picture with music, and boom. Fuck, relapsed twice. Stopping now
3 days without porn
Aim to go one week
I'm considering hiding memory brick with password at school.

Comments

Man , stop this ! This is f

Man , stop this ! This is f-ked up ! Think about why you started this reboot and why using porn make you miserable and then start thinking and how your life will be after the reboot, not having to worry about anything, normal sexuality (even better ,becouse most of the men don't know about what PMO is doing to them) Life will be so much better, sex will feel totaly diferent but far better, you will evolv , a very improved version of yourself. This is for everyone who is doing the reboot. Think ahead, but don't forget to live the present also, enjoy it but forget about PMO. Your brain needs to see sexual release in women, not in porn. At this moment you have a junky brain that tells you everytime to PMO or MO. When he dose that, don't lisent to him, he just wants another dopamine dose. Think rational and don't let him fool you. Good luck man, i hope what i told you changed your mind .

Yeah....

I've been fooling myself. I am really sensual and passionate, but because of my intial fear, lack of love, miserable episodes I sought sanctuary in porn. It's time to stop this, forever.

Yes man , take attitude and

Yes man , take attitude and start doint what's right. I've been there trust me , i still am. I'm struggeling with ED and PE here and i'm only 17 , but i'm now around day 79( partial relapse in day 73, you can check out my blog) , still have to work down there , but alot of things improved in my life. I feel much better about myself, i am more social and I see alot more opportunities than i had before. I was depressed and sometimes anxious, but things have changed.

Keep your head up , you are a

Keep your head up , you are a MAN and you can still change and make the diferece. Maybe this reboot will be more like a reborn thing. You really don't know what to expect in life...But don't forget that life dosen't offer it all on a plate, go and take what's yours !

Do what you need to do

You've come a long way. With the new job, there's a lot at stake. Take whatever measures you need to to give yourself another long streak.

And remember to make eye contact and smile at women.  It'll cheer you up.

*big hug*