I dont know what just happened. I am trying not to get frustrated but I was in such a good mindset going into this. 2 and a half weeks down and I relapsed last night. Its in the middle of exam week for me and I feel more depressed than before. Trying to study while not masturbating/porn and giving up weed is a challenge but I thought I could do it. It was going pretty well I mean i didnt see any changes but that was only because it was 2 and a half weeks. Anyways my HOCD was at an all time high, it was spinning all the time in my brain and I literally couldnt study. I still have to deal with it here but ive been doing an insane amount of adderall to take my mind off of things but its really not working. I couldnt fall asleep last night and when I did I woke up in the middle of the night slightly aroused and somewhat of an erection due to the dream/nightmare I was having. In this dream I was hugging my friend at home butt naked and he was too, I woke up screaming what the fuck what the fuck, it still gives me a spike when I think about it now. I guess this is normal with my background of escalating to gay porn and all but its been such a long time since ive actually been aroused by that stuff. Anyways I checked what was going on down there and just by grabbing my penis I ejaculated a little. Then came the self doubting and crap again but WHY for the love of god, I was doing everything right this time and I cant get past two and a half weeks!!!! I keep looking for reasons as to why this occured but I dont need too I just need to keep on pushing through, Just wish they wouldnt come in my god dam sleep anymore. I was doing such a good job with the HOCD keeping it controlled and not letting it spiral out of control like I used too. I guess just need to get back on the horse and do it all over again. In line with this awful dream I had there was even bestiality that came into play, it was a very disturbing and uncomfortable night as those thoughts in my dreams aroused me as well, its disgusting but theres no point in dwelling in it right? Just move on and keep pushing away at this, its my only hope.