I leave in a few days to work at a very isolated job up North where there is very little contact with the outside world. Ive done it before but I started going a little loopy before. I was hoping not to come back but I need the money for school and was unable to find another job that pays as well as this one.
I am scared to death that its going to tear me apart. I am back on antidepressants and Ive just stared to meditate every morning to reduce anxiety. I slipped and relapsed on porn for the first time in a year and ever since Ive been riding through a rollercoaster or emotions that all lead to heavy guilt trip.
Is meditation supposed to be done more than once a day? I have just been doing it every morning for 5 min, roughly a week now.
Im having a very hard time taming my mind, its bouncing everywhere on a sexual platform. Everything I see has to be sexual and its really testing my anger. HOCD very high. Very low moments.