Vaginal pain during intercourse

Submitted by Karezza Korner on
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[Excerpt from SEX in the Subtle Realms of Infinity (in press)]


It is unknown how many women suffer from painful sex but are too embarrassed to admit it. Debby Herbenick Ph.D., M.P.H. reports in an article for Psychology Today that about 30% of all women ages 18 to 59 reported some difficulty with pain the last time that they had sex and that about 10% of women experience chronic genital pain.

The “Sex In America” survey estimates that sexual pain afflicts 20 percent of American women—15 percent before menopausal, 33 percent after. Other research estimates are as high as 40% of women suffering pain at some point for varying durations. The American College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians report 75% of all women will experience pain during or right after sexual intercourse.

Until recently, many doctors dismissed women’s genital pain as “neurotic,” which left them doubly wounded. Some men don’t believe the complaints of sexual pain. Some even very mistakenly assume that sex should hurt women.

Search “painful sex” and you will find these words:

Dyspareunia (dis-puh-ROO-nee-uh), defined as persistent or recurrent burning pain or aching genital pain that occurs just before, during or after intercourse with every penetration, including putting in a tampon. Throbbing pain which can last for hours after intercourse. The cause is unknown.

Vaginismus, (vag-in-ISS-mus) sometimes called vaginism, is a condition that affects a woman's ability to engage in vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, manual penetration, insertion of tampons or menstrual cups, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations. This is the result of an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible. A woman with vaginismus does not consciously control the spasm. The severity of vaginismus, as well as the pain during penetration varies from woman to woman.

Vulvodynia (vul-voe-DIN-e-uh) is chronic pain or discomfort around the opening of the vagina (vulva) for which there's no identifiable cause and which lasts at least three months. The pain, burning or irritation associated with vulvodynia can make a woman so uncomfortable that sitting for long periods or having sex becomes unthinkable. The condition can last for months to years. Treatment can help, but this condition can't be cured.

I searched for treatments on Google, this is what I found:

Treatments include anaesthesia, then medication injected into the vagina to inhibit the muscle spasm and then a massage followed by inserting a large dilator.

Another method utilises a CO2 laser with a vaginal probe, delivering laser energy pulses for a few minutes.

A different method also with a laser probe is placed directly on the painful points penetrating into the tissue to initiate a process called photo-biostimulation. The exact mechanisms of action are still not fully understood.

Other suggestions I found on the internet include:

Desensitisation therapy by learning vaginal relaxation exercises.

Sex therapy to explore negative emotional response to sexual stimulation and help to improve communication with your partner and restoring sexual intimacy.

Cognitive behavioral therapy to help change negative thought patterns.

Changing positions, talking more with the partner, longer foreplay, more lubrication.

If all that fails, try the FDA approved drug ospemifene (Osphena) which acts like estrogen though it might cause hot flashes, and it carries a risk of stroke, blood clots and cancer of the lining of the uterus.

I did not inquire into the costs of these treatments.


Could karezza help with this condition? I have not yet found research to say yes or no. But since it is a topic very related to sex I will share with you a story of how this malady was vanquished for someone. I am not a doctor and do not offer medical advice, I am just sharing someone’s experience and how the chronic pain fully subsided and the spastic muscles relaxed totally, literally overnight.

“I was afflicted with a strange condition that puzzled and shamed me. To be direct, my vagina suddenly, literally overnight, closed tight. Any attempt to touch or enter caused a burning sensation like the touch of a lit cigarette. Five different doctors had vague explanations about getting older and loss of hormones and suggested use of a lubricant or offered to prescribe pharmaceutical hormones.

My husband and I had enjoyed a very dynamic and compatible sexual relating and suddenly had to find other ways to engage sexually. I lost interest pretty quickly as sex was only painful and humiliating. It was sad and discouraging for us both. We were already suffering in our relationship and with the fun part now gone, tensions increased.

My self-esteem was plummeting. Unconscious beliefs surfaced, like, “What was my value if I could not offer sex?” That was a dismal revelation and it was a very deep program to deal with.

Eventually we each followed our divergent paths and went separate ways. I wondered if the malady was simply my body rejecting my husband. I assumed this and hoped it would pass.

When I was struggling with “Dyspareunia/Vaginismus/Vulvodynia” I felt embarrassed to talk about it. Just saying the words evoked a shudder. But one day a young woman in her late twenties confessed to me that she had always experienced much pain during sex and she and her boyfriend rarely made love because of it. I was touched by her transparency and vulnerability and felt to share my own experience with her. Neither of us could offer any solutions and both of us had done plenty of research.

Years went by during which I had been totally celibate. The universe put me onto a different kind of path. I was solo, a wanderer, an explorer of inner and outer realms. I deeply immersed into the world of fasting, pranic living, silence and celibacy.

Ten years after the sudden vaginal affliction descended upon my life, it was still part of my reality. It did not fade away as I had expected it would. I had found acceptance and it was a great teacher. My wily inner flirt was subdued, I learned self love. I am not talking about masturbation, as that was left behind. I was way more quiet within, and I think more mature.

Once I was gently surrendered to the situation, peaceful and neutral, a key was offered to unlock the temple. I learned how to banish the excruciating pain as quickly as it had taken me over, in one night.

Out of the blue I received a Skype call from my younger friend who had also suffered the painful sex.

She was breathless with excitement. She had been to a masseuse. He pressed a point on her arm and when she winced he asked if she experienced painful sex. Astonished, she said yes. He explained some kind of a connection between a point on her arm and vagina and told her he meets many women with this condition. He told her that in his observation, the problem was due to a simple lack of Vitamin D3. But, it would not be solved if taken orally. It had to be applied locally. She implored me to at least try it even though it sounded crazy.

After we hung up, I dug out a small bottle of vitamin D3 tablets. I snapped one in half and gingerly poked it about an inch inside my dear vagina. It felt like a shard of glass going in and like the princess and the pea, there was a noticeable and annoying discomfort as I lay in bed.

When I awoke in the morning I remembered the experiment and tenderly felt my vulva. To my astonishment it was soft and moist and allowed a pain free touch. I pressed a little further in and hit dry painful tightness. I carefully inserted the second half of the vitamin tablet deep within. Within hours the entire vagina was free from pain, soft, relaxed, moist. The sun was shining, the streets washed clean. It was a clear, new, fresh day filled with sweetness and light.

Gosh! How would you feel if you had suffered all the layers and levels of such a condition for ten years only to discover that a few pennies worth of a common vitamin could offer total relief within hours? It was an odd feeling, a mix because I did recognise all the “gifts” that had accompanied the journey. I felt I had been released suddenly from a kind of imprisonment, but was bewildered and reinvented so not sure what to think of it or how to make good use of it. I had grown accustomed to celibacy, comfortable with being solo.

Time would pass. Maybe I could open again to intimate possibilities. - V.H.

 (post menopause)

Just wanted to let you know about something that has made a profound difference for me in our Karezza lovemaking.  Off and on, I would have pain in my vagina and couldn't figure out what it was. When having our love sessions, I couldn't let my husband in more than about an inch or so and sometimes I just had to end it because of the pain.  It was more of a sore tight feeling, but without any burning sensations.  I knew it wasn't a dryness problem because I produce a lot of natural lubrication.
For the past several months I've been into using calcium bentonite clay for healing skin problems, as facial clay masks, etc.  It's working so well for me that I bought a 40 lb. bucket of it and have gotten friends and family into using it.  Recently, I read about using the clay for vaginal problems such as cysts,  and general  toxicity in the vaginal tissues. I did what the instructions said.  I hand-shaped suppositories about one inch long and 1/2 inch in thickness and let them dry, uncovered, until firm, but not completely hardened.  It works best when it is still at least partially hydrated. It takes about 12 hours to dry them just right.
 I begin inserting one of these every night.and leaving it in overnight.  In the morning the clay suppository either just drops out on its own or I have to manually remove it.  The next night I insert a fresh one. In about 3 days we made love again and the difference has been nothing short of a miracle!  I have no more pain and we can go for deep penetration right away.  My husband says my vagina feels incredibly soft and loose and the movement of the energy circuit between us starts up immediately, instead of having to wait for 30 minutes or more, as it had been when I was experiencing the pain.  

Something interesting about the is composed of volcanic ash and has a negative charge to it when the dry powder is hydrated and applied to the skin.  This negative charge draws in toxins, bacteria, pathogens and anything else with a positive charge.  The toxins are absorbed into the clay and remain there without affecting surrounding tissues until the clay is removed and washed off or discarded.  I think the improved results we are experiencing in our lovemaking has a lot to do with the fact that this clay has a magnetic charge to it.

We are so pleased to have found something that has worked so well and thought you might want to pass this tip on to other women who are experiencing painful intercourse.

(from r/karezza) My girlfriend had issues with pain during intercourse and slow sex was a wonderful discovery for us that has allowed us to have a truly fulfilling sex life.




Thank you. I am feeling more and more that sense of a divergent path as a sexual abuse survivor. I do not have the answer yet, but the path seems less like partner intimacy than ever. Thank you for sharing the resiliency and personal growth and beautiful light bulb moment with us. Hope eternal.

Amazing story. What a trying

Amazing story. What a trying, but ultimately rewarding and freeing, path for the author. I am sure she now is in a better position to accomplish what she needs to during this episode of development of her spirit.

Different but related, food allergies, too, can have profound and non-intuitive physical and mental effects.